What has happened to friendship? When did true friendship suddenly go missing? In the era of Facebook-fueled disposable relationships, I can't help but ask myself... Are real friendships becoming a thing of the past?
I've always been pretty selective with who I call "friend". I believe it is a title that should be earned rather than hastily bestowed upon someone. For this reason, I have few close friends. I'm OK with that though. I've had even fewer best friends in my lifetime. I've lost two so far. The first was because of my coming out. That was fun...fun like surgery with no anesthesia. The second...I'm still trying to figure out what happened there.
Just a few short months ago, I experienced my second ride on the severed friendship boat. Someone I cared about deeply and for whom I'd have done anything suddenly sent me a Dear John text. There was no opportunity for me to address issues or fix what I could. There was no warning. There was just a text full of words and thoughts that lacked any love or compassion. Apparently, this friend could only exist in the sunshine and fair weather. I guess he didn't have the stomach to endure thunderstorms and hurricanes. This loss, like the last one, was equally devastating. I was left confused and deeply hurt. I had been there for this person through the worst time of their life; and I never once bailed. I never once ended the friendship. Why? Because I believe true friendship and love transcends circumstances, and distance, and life's storms. I believe that friendship doesn't always have to be perfect or comfortable. I believe that two people should be able to respect each other and honor their relationship as friends no matter the circumstances. Sure, shit happens. People make mistakes. There are trying times for everyone. A real friend, however, should be able to see through the storm. To put it bluntly, any fucking idiot should understand that storms don't last forever.
Then today, I learned that someone I love dearly lost their best friend to similar foolishness. I hurt so badly for him. I remember what it feels like to have your heart ripped out through your ass with the realization that someone you thought was your best friend, really wasn't at all. This was the last straw for me.
I have had it with this culture of disposable friendships...where if the person doesn't exactly reflect our interests, ideals, beliefs, goals, or comfort level, we simply toss them out like moldy bread. When did this become the norm? When did people become so weak and cowardly that they can't even withstand the high winds of life? I wish more than anything this wasn't the case. I hate that people seem to be forgetting the meaning of true friendship. Pop culture sites like Facebook have fooled people into thinking that sharing your every bowel movement online is friendship. This has translated into our actual friendships now. We unfriend people in an instant. I feel like it's becoming harder and harder for people to distinguish between Facebook and real life. Will true friendship remain on the milk carton or will it be plucked from the clutches of its captor - complacency?
The Bottom Line:
The next time the storms hit and you think of turning your back on someone you call a friend, consider this... Is it really the right call to cut this person from your life or are you just being a giant bag of flaccid dicks?
