Monday, January 9, 2017

Donald


Well, I've been at an ideological fork in the road for months... 
Respect President-Elect Donald Trump or don't?   

Some Background: I am 40 years old.  I was raised in Texas as a Republican (big surprise).  I was taught in predominantly christian school environments.  I was raised in church - Southern Baptist, Pentecostal, Church of Christ.  I attended christian universities.  I married a christian woman and had two children; then later divorced.  Once I began to care more about people and less about a bank account or guns, I became a Democrat.  I also came out as gay.  I'm now married to a man.  I've voted for President George W. Bush (once).  I voted for President Barack Obama (twice).  I voted for Hillary Clinton.  I describe myself as a staunch Democrat with a dash of Republican...because I'm a big enough person to understand there is value in both major political parties.   There, now you have the necessary background.

Having said all this, I was raised to respect the President without question.  I was taught that while you don't have to agree, you should respect him (or her).  That worked seamlessly for me until we all encountered the now President-Elect Donald J. Trump.  Never in the history of our nation has a President shown such a lack of respect for the people he's supposed to govern.  This is when everything changed for me.

I thought to myself - {Wait a fucking minute... The whole respect the President thing worked great before.  Why am I having such a hard time with this now?}  Simply put, Donald continues to disrespect both the office of the President and the people for which he was elected to lead.  And that, my friends, changes everything.  No longer will I be shackled by a concept of respect just for the sake of said concept.  Simply put, respect is earned.   Every President in my lifetime has approached this solemn duty and the American people with the respect and gravity that the job requires.  Every President, that is, until now.  As with the law or social issues, things evolve as we enter into uncharted territory and our understanding of circumstances changes.  This is uncharted territory.  I will not use this moment to list Donald's many transgressions against the American people or the office of the President.  His words (many just outright lies) and actions stand alone and need no context or clarity.  Only someone wishing to justify his inexcusable behavior will say otherwise.  This isn't about me not voting for Donald.  This isn't about Republican vs. Democrat vs. Bernie vs. the Green Party.  This is about what is undeniably missing from Donald's approach thus far - RESPECT.  He has none.


The Bottom Line:

Respect is earned and Donald is currently facing a "respect bankruptcy".  Until he pays his debt; until he stops trying to avoid giving the very thing he demands; until he starts behaving like a President; he will get no respect from me.  If you want to act like a 70 year old temper-tantrum throwing child - You will be Donald.  When you choose to grow up and show ALL the people of this great nation the respect they deserve - You will be President.  Some things really are that simple.





Friday, July 8, 2016

ALL LIVES MATTER: A Strong Rebuke Against Race-Based Movements


As a person of Scottish, Cherokee, and African American descent who grew up in the poor and mostly Black part of Dallas Texas - I've been forced to confront race and racism from all sides at an early age.  Some Black people don't like me because of my White mother or because I'm not dark enough or "black" enough.  Some White people don't like me because I'm Black.  Some White people only like me because they think I'm Hispanic at first.  Some Hispanics like me...until they realize I'm Black.  On and on it goes.  

As I watched the events in Dallas Texas unfold last night and today (where five Dallas police officers died after gunmen systematically executed them during and after a Black Lives Matter rally in downtown), I can't help but wonder if those who support the Black Lives Matter movement really understand what it is they are advocating.    All evidence seems to suggest that they don't.  On the outside, BLM seems harmless and honorable enough.  When you take a closer look, however, you will start to see some fundamental and alarming problems.  

  • The very name of the movement - Black Lives Matter. 
    • There is an ellipsis at the end of this movement's name - ...more than other lives
I'm not saying that the ellipsis was intended, but it's there none the less.  This is why you see people now adopting the hashtag #alllivesmatter.  They do this because the movement has made them feel as though their lives do not matter.  I understand that there is a growing problem with police violence in this country which disproportionately affects those in Black communities.  I understand that Black lives matter.  The name though, while seemingly trying to draw attention to the issues of police violence against Black people, also implies that other lives don't matter at all or at the very least not as much.  The focus shouldn't be on race, but it is.  This isn't helping the racism issue in this country.  It's breeding a whole new generations of racist...on ALL sides.  

Think about it this way - The Traditionalist American Knights of the KKK  state that they are a non-violent organization dedicated to the "preservation of the white race in the United States".  They say they are non-violent; but as we all know, their very existence inspires hatred and violence.  The fact that they self segregate and focus solely on the white race signals that other races are not important or valuable.  This is the issue with identifying by race in a political or social movement.  It seems harmless, or loyal, or in touch with one's ancestry; but it's not.  Its divisive, destructive, and dangerous.   

  • The focus of the movement. 
    • According to the BLM website  the focus is on "state violence" against Black people. 
The word "violence" is found on the BLM Who We Are page six times.  The focus is on violence executed by the "state".  With such a focus on "violence", it was only a matter of time before the movement inspired violence.  The BLM movement says it is "broadening the conversation"; when in fact it's narrowing the conversation to race and excluding non-black people from that conversation.  You can't seek to stop race-based attacks on the Black community by alienating people of non-black heritage.  This is exactly what BLM is currently doing.  The message, the focus, and the execution ALL need to change.


  • The organization of the movement.  
    • In interviews with those described as the founders of the BLM movement, it has been stated that BLM is a leaderless movement.  
Here's the problem - A leaderless movement is also a movement that is unfocused, off-message, and subject to a dangerous evolution.  We didn't achieve progress for Black people in America without leaders.  This type of non-approach leaves the execution of this movement open to interpretation.  As we saw in Dallas, some have now interpreted this as violence against police.  I'm not saying that the killing of five Dallas police officers was sanctioned by BLM, but the movement bears some responsibility in that it refuses to clearly identify as "non-violent" and in fact, it's sole focus IS violence.  It allows people from the community to decide for themselves how to resolve "state violence" - some, opting just to shoot back.  Violence or focusing on violence is NOT the right approach.  The BLM movement is in it's "toddler" period now and has done little in the way of fixing the problem of racism or violence in this country.

  • The execution of the movement.
    • The movement has"fired" upon the wrong targets too many times.  
In December of last year, BLM disrupted air travel at an airport and shopping at a popular and busy mall.  This is yet another example of the wrong focus and execution.  A movement shouldn't seek to punish those who may have nothing to do with the plight of the Black community.  These were people trying to see their families or buy gifts for loved ones.  Seeking to disrupt everyday life is not the way to change the hearts and minds of this country.  It reeks of selfishness and ill-will toward those who have nothing to do with "state violence".  At political rallies, BLM shows up screaming or taking over stages in an effort to force people to listen.  Screaming at people only alienates them further.  Again, this is where leaders come in.  They help people focus and stay on message; and to deliver that message in a way that is not only powerful, but poignant and better received.


The Bottom Line

Trying to force people to listen to your point of view, while systematically alienating those who you say you are trying to speak to is fucking foolish.  It's time for everyone to stop hiding behind their race.  It's time to stop pretending that pride in your heritage is the reason for your actions and behaviors.  It's not.  Your selfishness and belief that your life matters more than those of a different race because of a threat (either perceived or real) is the reason for your actions and behaviors.  You can be proud without alienating those around you.  You can honor your history without creating or contributing to a future soaked in violence, segregation, hatred, ignorance, and intolerance.  We can all live together in love and peace...when we CHOOSE to do so.  We can all move beyond racism once we stop breathing life into it with provocation, violence, screaming, anger, hatred, and retaliation.  

White people, stop pretending like you're in danger of losing something.  You're not.  White Americans slaughtered Native Americans in order to lay claim to something that didn't belong to them.  White Americans enslaved Africans and refused to treat them like humans.  The only thing you're in danger of is perpetuating the cycle of ignorance that says you're superior to anyone.  We aren't.  We come from the same stock of people who murdered some and enslaved others.  ENOUGH.  Get your shit together and realize the worth of all human life whether you relate to them or not.  

Black people, stop pretending like you arrived on a slave ship.  You didn't.  Stop saying you want and end to racism while simultaneously segregating yourselves.  Stop screaming at people and learn to have a real conversation.  Do the hard work that is required to really "broaden the conversation"; not just the easy work of preaching to the choir.  Stop punishing the good White people of this country for shit the bad ones do.  We don't honor our ancestors and those who fought for our freedoms by shitting all over their sacrifice with our selfishness and willful ignorance.  We have JUST as must a part to play in eradicating racism as any White person living or dead.

Racism and discrimination of ALL kinds is defeated in the small moments in life.  Talk to that co-worker who may be narrow-minded or sheltered.  Show those passing you on the street the kindness they may not think you deserve.  Conduct yourselves with the kind of honor that transcends your heritage.  Stop being afraid to speak out against violent actions and words from your "own kind".  Stop letting people of all colors get a free pass on hatred and ignorance.  Speak up.  Speak softly.  Speak often.  Speak from your heart.  The war on race won't be won by force.  It will be won when we decide that human life is THE most important resource on the planet.    



Wednesday, April 20, 2016

An Inconvenient Truth


My, how a few months changes everything...

There is no honor, nor nobility, nor any grace in spending months decrying the Democratic Super Delegate process; only to make it a part of your strategy for winning.   This alone proves that Bernie Sanders is as much a typical politician as anyone else currently running for President on either side. 

Wake up people!!!

He is essentially saying that EVEN if Hillary takes the popular vote (that's you - in case you were confused) and the Pledged Delegate count; that his campaign plans on completely disregarding the will of the people (that he CLAIMS he's representing) and try to convince Super Delegates to vote for  him in an effort to usurp Hillary Clinton as the nominee for President.  

So, to all the hardcore Bernie Sanders supporters out there in the world...you can support him if you like -that's your prerogative- but PLEASE stop pretending like your candidate is above all the bullshit.  He not; and neither are you for supporting him.  He does not represent a political revolution.  He represents politics JUST AS IT IS...flawed.  I can respect people for knowingly supporting their candidate despite their shortcomings.  I cannot respect those who choose to pretend like their candidate is vastly better or different or more honorable than any other.  

#hypocrisy #politics #nowthetruthcomesout 

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Have You Seen Me?



What has happened to friendship?  When did true friendship suddenly go missing?  In the era of Facebook-fueled disposable relationships, I can't help but ask myself... Are real friendships becoming a thing of the past?   

I've always been pretty selective with who I call "friend".  I believe it is a title that should be earned rather than hastily bestowed upon someone.  For this reason, I have few close friends.  I'm OK with that though.  I've had even fewer best friends in my lifetime.  I've lost two so far.  The first was because of my coming out.  That was fun...fun like surgery with no anesthesia.  The second...I'm still trying to figure out what happened there.   

Just a few short months ago, I experienced my second ride on the severed friendship boat.  Someone I cared about deeply and for whom I'd have done anything suddenly sent me a Dear John text.  There was no opportunity for me to address issues or fix what I could.  There was no warning.  There was just a text full of words and thoughts that lacked any love or compassion.  Apparently, this friend could only exist in the sunshine and fair weather.  I guess he didn't have the stomach to endure thunderstorms and hurricanes.  This loss, like the last one, was equally devastating.  I was left confused and deeply hurt.  I had been there for this person through the worst time of their life; and I never once bailed.  I never once ended the friendship.  Why?  Because I believe true friendship and love transcends circumstances, and distance, and life's storms.  I believe that friendship doesn't always have to be perfect or comfortable.  I believe that two people should be able to respect each other and honor their relationship as friends no matter the circumstances.  Sure, shit happens.  People make mistakes.   There are trying times for everyone.  A real friend, however, should be able to see through the storm.  To put it bluntly, any fucking idiot should understand that storms don't last forever.  

Then today, I learned that someone I love dearly lost their best friend to similar foolishness.  I hurt so badly for him.  I remember what it feels like to have your heart ripped out through your ass with the realization that someone you thought was your best friend, really wasn't at all.  This was the last straw for me.  

I have had it with this culture of disposable friendships...where if the person doesn't exactly reflect our interests, ideals, beliefs, goals, or comfort level, we simply toss them out like moldy bread.  When did this become the norm?  When did people become so weak and cowardly that they can't even withstand the high winds of life?  I wish more than anything this wasn't the case.  I hate that people seem to be forgetting the meaning of true friendship.  Pop culture sites like Facebook have fooled people into thinking that sharing your every bowel movement online is friendship.  This has translated into our actual friendships now.  We unfriend people in an instant.  I feel like it's becoming harder and harder for people to distinguish between Facebook and real life.  Will true friendship  remain on the milk carton or will it be plucked from the clutches of its captor - complacency? 

The Bottom Line:
The next time the storms hit and you think of turning your back on someone you call a friend, consider this...  Is it really the right call to cut this person from your life or are you just being a giant bag of flaccid dicks?









Friday, June 26, 2015

We the People



As I got up this morning, I completely overlooked the Supreme Court Decision on gay marriage.  In my grogginess, I moved about getting ready for what I anticipated to be a long workday.  I made my way through my morning routine...shower, teeth brushing...”de-ashification” (lotion)...coffee... and getting dressed.  As I walked toward the front door, the man to whom I used to be engaged informed me of the Supreme Court's decision.  My response was nearly indifferent.  I replied with an "oh, that's good".  See, I was engaged to be married several months ago.  Since that time, I called off the engagement and the relationship for reasons that I won't go into here.  At any rate, I made my way down to my car only to discover that a huge panel underneath the car was broken and hanging off.  I realized that I wouldn't be able to drive to work as planned.  As my anger mounted at the impending car repairs, I made my way back into the apartment, called an Uber, and waited to be picked up.  All I could think of was the cost, the inconvenience, getting to work late, this “stupid” gay marriage decision, and how very alone I felt.
    
I got into the Uber car, and headed off to work.  As luck (or lack thereof) would have it, the driver was tuned into NPR radio.  The topic, of course, was gay marriage.  The pundits were all flexing their opinion muscles.  They talked about the significance, the implications, and the possible legal fights ahead. At first I listened, still indifferent.  Then, they paused to cut over to the live speech by President Obama from the Rose Garden.   That's when everything changed for me.  As Obama spoke about the history of this struggle and the progress of American society, I began to cry.  All my indifference melted away as I realized that while I was so very happy for all those who wanted to get married but could not, I was further away from my marriage moment than I thought I'd be at this point in my life.  This strange mix of grief and gladness would not let up.  As I made my way to work, all I could think about was how I'd missed my chance.  Yeah, I know that sounds a tad dramatic maybe, but it's hard to see "marriage" for myself right now.
 
Once my tears began to subside; my thoughts turned to those who will undoubtedly announce the moral decay of American society and the destruction of all things "godly".  It hurts to know that there are those in the world that would seek to keep me and my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters as second class citizens; and for what?  Before gay marriage was even a thought, heterosexual couples have made a career of entering into marriages lightly and subsequently destroying this “holy” institution.  Furthermore, even those who didn’t believe in God or even believed in things which directly went against God were allowed to take part in this allegedly holy event.  It occurs to me on this day, people of all backgrounds should consider this… Perhaps it’s not holy or godly or Christ-like to exclude certain people from being married.  I offer that perhaps it’s ungodly, or unholy to treat marriage as something disposable.  Perhaps it’s immoral to enter into marriages with insufficient regard.  Perhaps the shame should be placed on the devaluing of marriage rather than who gets to be married.  I don’t pretend to have all the answers but as a formerly married, formerly straight man now living as an openly gay man who now has the right to marry anywhere in my homeland, I have to say that my perspective is clearer than it has ever been.

The Bottom Line

For those who wish to take part in this new era of equality, know this…
Your marriage should NOT be just another option.
Your marriage should NOT be disposable.
Your marriage should NOT be for show.
Your marriage should NOT be for convenience.
Your marriage should NOT be entered into lightly.

For those who wish to decry today’s Supreme Court decision, know this…
Gay marriage does NOT change your relationship with your god.
Gay marriage does NOT infringe upon your rights or opinions.
Gay marriage does NOT diminish your faith.
Gay marriage does NOT make your marriage less special.

For ALL those who are or will be married, know this…
Love, honor, and respect your own marriage.  After all, it’s the only marriage you can both nurture or destroy.