Stripped

Shown Above: Male Stripper by Marlene Dumas 1999

I had sex with a male stripper today.  Now, get that manure munching look off your face and continue reading.  Yes, you read correctly.  That, however, is not the point.  I make no apologies.  I say the things that need to be said.  Think what you will, I am now a firm believer in the saying "strippers need love too".

After what has seemed like way too long, I decided to allow myself to let loose and have a little responsible fun.  I met a stripper (dancer) who I will call "Peter".  I think that's appropriate.  Peter and I met via a social network app; but that's not important either.  What is important is that I got a first-hand look into the life of one of these mythical creatures.  These unicorns of night-life.  What I experienced left me a little sad and abundantly pensive.


I met a beautiful yet lonely soul.  I saw a man who was  clinging to boyhood.  I witnessed someone with hardly a friend in the world.  He was a person who, on the outside, was desirable beyond words; with eyes that could entrance anyone.  I saw someone who is an object of lust for many men...and a few confused women.  I met an individual who couldn't see his own worth.  This man had so much, yet not nearly enough.  I wondered, how does a person get to this point?  I could speculate for days.  I won't though.  

What I will take away from this experience is that there are many people in the world who are in desperate need of a loving influence in life.  Some people go about finding this in all the wrong ways.  Some spend the majority of their lives seeking this in the eyes and words of strangers.  Some, wade in the pool of familiarity, seeking the very same affirmation and love from those they know.  If one doesn't love one's self, one can quickly become none.

The Bottom Line: Sex with strippers may be shocking, laughable, or perhaps even disgusting.  I never back away from my decisions.  I never make excuses, nor do I have the desire to justify my very grown up life.  I will say that it turned out to be way more than hot sex.  It was a lesson in the power of love and the devastation that having no love can inflict.  Life is short.  Love yourself.  Don't get lost in another's eyes.

King of Kings

I have been an outspoken critic of organized religion for quite some time now.  Having been in church leadership, I've seen most everything.  What I witnessed today, however, blew me away.

A church filled to the brim with sweaty, irrational, mindless sheep stood cheering as a man was declared a "king".  It should also be noted that the song Prepare Ye The Way (Of Our Lord) was being played as the very-married, barely-legal boy-lover was ushered around on his bootleg Office Max throne.  The good "Rabbi" Ralph Messer randomly shouted in Hebrew to lend authenticity to this exercise in narcissism.  Add spot lights and a choir in the background practically foaming at the mouth and there you have it... a coronation ceremony.

See the entire coronation here...

This moment...this awful car-accident...couldn't be a better example of everything wrong in organized religion.  It's not completely "King" Eddie Long's fault.  He wouldn't be a "king" without subjects following him.  I don't know what scares me more; the fact that he has the nerve to allow this in the first place, or that so many people would blindly follow this man to destruction.  It's truly a toss-up.

I hope for Eddie Long's sake, that God has a better sense of humor about all this than I do.  Eddie looked quite nervous throughout. Maybe he was worried about his henchmen accidentally dropping him all over the stage...maybe he was secretly waiting for a giant lightning bolt to strike him in his giant forehead.  I guess we may never know.  I do know this much, that whole "I want to be like god" thing...didn't work out so well for Lucifer.

The Bottom Line:
Scandal Schmandal - When life hands you lemons, make yourself King.  I believe sheep everywhere should be offended by the comparisons made here today.

Blank

Have you ever wondered what Writer's Block looks like?  Well, here it is.  I've been at a loss for words for the better part of a few months now.  My last resort is to write about not being able to write.  I'm hoping this works like getting rid of a ghost.  Acknowledge it...then release it to the great beyond.  I can only hope it goes down like that.

The current situation I'm in did get me to thinking about sources for inspiration.  I wonder why it can be so hard to feel inspired during times of peace and quiet.  It seems that artists of all kinds produce their best work while stressed, depressed, oppressed, or something along those lines.  Why is it that tragedy brings out the best in us?  Great songs are penned while grief stricken.  You rarely hear a really great song about how perfect someone's life is.  Sports teams thrive under negative criticisms or while being the underdog (unless you are the Dallas Cowboys).  Does adversity bring out our inner superhero?  Do we need equal parts tragedy and triumph in order to maintain a certain acceptable level of greatness?  I'm not sure I have the answer.  I'm a thinker.  I like to ponder on subjects...meditate on them.  Maybe that's the source of my greatness.  Perhaps it's a signal that I'm in need of medication.  :-)  Who knows?  I've maintained for years now, that a balance in life is necessary.  I just never applied that logic to having a need for tragedy.  Maybe that's why we self-sabotage at times.  Could it be our spirits telling us that we are out of balance and perhaps low on adversity?

I feel as though this blocked moment is temporary for me.  Life is full of difficulty and lessons to be learned.  I'm pretty sure that something will pop up any day now and inspire the shit out of me!  Until then, I will accept where I am.  I will value the role hardship plays in my life.

I'm not sure I'd be who I am without it.

The Bottom Line:
None of us like adversity or tragedy.  When we make peace with the idea that it's a valuable part of life, we can begin to see it differently.  We can learn from our trials rather than let them destroy us.  After all, without a little adversity, we'd all be "blank pages".

Just Do It...Damn It!

What if the life you've always wanted was just one decision away?  What if you did even one thing every single day that took you down your dream path?  What would that look like? What would happen if you stopped dreaming and started doing?  These are all questions I've been asking myself recently.  I finally figured out that the answer is: Stop asking!  There is nothing more cliche or more true than the Nike slogan "Just Do It".   In an effort to avoid trivializing life's many hardships, I will admit that this is harder said than done.  The point is, however, that it can be done!

I know that I've spent way to much of the last 10 years dreaming about how I want my life to be.  That equals about 10 years that I've wasted not making it happen.  I've allowed circumstances and people to dictate the quality of my life.  I've forgotten that my dreams require action in order to come true.  As Kelly Clarkson put it, I've been "breaking my own heart".  You should never stop dreaming; but dreaming alone will never create the reality.  If you truly want something in life...go for it.  Do something...anything...to move you in that direction every single day.  One day you will wake up, look around, and realize... I'm where I want to be!

The Bottom Line:
Give the "seeds" that are your dreams the "water" of your actions.  Warm yourself in the "light" of inspiration and witness the growth!

Dendritic Cell

I was reading about the unfortunate passing of this year's Nobel Prize recipient for medicine, Ralph Steinman.  He was a biologist who had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer but was able to extend his life using therapy based upon his discovery. Read about it here.

He is credited with the discovery of something called the Dendritic Cell and it's function in the immune system.  This cell is what got my attention.  I read up on this small wonder.  The cell acts as a messenger between the two types of immunity our bodies have...innate and adaptive.  In essence, these cells are responsible for linking things that never change to those things which change often.  

It's amazing how bodily processes mimic our everyday lives.  We struggle to find that one thing that can help us travel between those moments in life that are both constant and ever-changing.  For some, I believe their dendritic cell is religion, god, or spirituality.  For others, that dendritic cell is a spouse or partner.  I also believe some use addictive behaviors as a type of dendritic cell.  We all seek a connection to or reliable path between those things in life which always change and those things which don't change.   It's that "dendritic cell" that makes bearable the transition from one place to another.  Simply put, it's that thing that helps us cope.

That's when the concept leaped right off the page I was reading...  The answer is within us.  While we spend all our time seeking outward ways to get back and forth from these two places in life, we completely overlook the path that is already within us.  Ralph Steinman didn't have to create anything or look outside the human body.  He simply had to better understand what was already present in all of us.  Once this happened, he literally figured out how to extend life and fight those things that make us sick.  It's truly amazing!

The Bottom Line:

Nine times out of ten, the best answers to life's unsolvable equations come from within.  The way forward is already there, just waiting to be discovered.  That ability to cope with the constant and with change is inside us all. When you make a commitment to understanding yourself, you will find your path...your way to and from...that calm within the storm.