On The Verge

It's just before 5AM on what should be just another Tuesday.  It's painfully quiet here in my apartment, even with the white noise in the background.  All this silence has left me thinking about my life and where it's headed.  It's an odd experience to constantly feel on the verge of greatness or disaster.  It's how I've found myself feeling more often than not lately.   I have a career, bills are paid, a teeny tiny bit of money in the bank, a beautiful apartment, you know...all the basics.  Even still, I can't help but sense that the universe is still out to trial on whether my life will really be great or not.  It's strange how one can feel so out of place when everything is seemingly in order.

It's very much like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but not being not awake enough to determine if it's a train or the baby Jesus.  Maybe this is what purgatory feels like.  Am I being made ready for something?  I wish I could share with you that I've just been enlightened with the answer to my own question, but alas, not so much.  I suppose it's really more philosophical than literal, although the two seem to intertwine effortlessly.  

I have bad dreams to thank for this moment of mental Purgatory that I find myself in.  I should be asleep; not tapping away on my laptop listening to my ice maker work over-time.  I've decided that since I have to be up early, I will just make some coffee and push through this sleepless and thoughtful moment in time.

The Bottom Line: I will let you know as soon as I find it.

Truth or Dare

I'm deep in thought on another inglorious Monday.  I'm thinking about the game...Truth or Dare.  If you've played this game a lot, you may have noticed a trend.  There are those who will almost always choose Truth and then there are those who will always choose Dare.  I've yet to meet a person who was equal parts dare and truth.  It just never seems to work out that way.

Many personal relationships are marred by a truth or dare mentality.  You have those people who will always tell you when you have a booger on your face or that you are way too fat to be wearing that.  Then there are those who call themselves friends but spend the entire relationship just daring you to discover that they have a hidden agenda.  Sometimes the agenda is romantic.  Sometimes it's convenience.  Every once in a while they turn out to be nothing less than your enemy.

Where does this fascination with playing games in relationships come from?  Why do we feel the need to play Truth or Dare with those we allegedly care about?  Shouldn't it always be truth?  Are relationships mostly based on lies and mutually accepted delusions?  (For you hard core Sex and the City fans, that last question will sound familiar.)  As a kid, I can remember being scolded by adults for being childish or immature or silly.  I'm beginning to think the children have it right.  Consider this, most little kids will simply look you in the face and tell you they don't like you...or to go away...or I don't want to play with you.  Adults on the other hand, will go to lunch with you, add you on their Facebook page, or even show up at your party.  When it comes to relationships, maybe we SHOULD be acting like children.  What would happen if we all were to partake in a brutal honesty week?  Oh...Em...Gee.  People's friends list would be slashed in half.  There could even be a fist fight!  All hell would break loose. The sad thing is, the only thing that seems to be "holding things together" is this sense of playing games.

What on earth could we accomplish with our newly found free time?  Cutting to the chase could add days or weeks of free time to your life.  With all the time not wasted on bullshitting with people in our lives we could learn a new language, go back to school, take up a hobby, or any number of productive and honest things.

The Bottom Line: There are worse things in life than being a mother-fucker.  Tell the truth.  Don't get caught up in the games that are all too easy to play.  If there is a giant booger on someone's face, for god's sake...TELL THEM!