Just Do It...Damn It!

What if the life you've always wanted was just one decision away?  What if you did even one thing every single day that took you down your dream path?  What would that look like? What would happen if you stopped dreaming and started doing?  These are all questions I've been asking myself recently.  I finally figured out that the answer is: Stop asking!  There is nothing more cliche or more true than the Nike slogan "Just Do It".   In an effort to avoid trivializing life's many hardships, I will admit that this is harder said than done.  The point is, however, that it can be done!

I know that I've spent way to much of the last 10 years dreaming about how I want my life to be.  That equals about 10 years that I've wasted not making it happen.  I've allowed circumstances and people to dictate the quality of my life.  I've forgotten that my dreams require action in order to come true.  As Kelly Clarkson put it, I've been "breaking my own heart".  You should never stop dreaming; but dreaming alone will never create the reality.  If you truly want something in life...go for it.  Do something...anything...to move you in that direction every single day.  One day you will wake up, look around, and realize... I'm where I want to be!

The Bottom Line:
Give the "seeds" that are your dreams the "water" of your actions.  Warm yourself in the "light" of inspiration and witness the growth!

Dendritic Cell

I was reading about the unfortunate passing of this year's Nobel Prize recipient for medicine, Ralph Steinman.  He was a biologist who had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer but was able to extend his life using therapy based upon his discovery. Read about it here.

He is credited with the discovery of something called the Dendritic Cell and it's function in the immune system.  This cell is what got my attention.  I read up on this small wonder.  The cell acts as a messenger between the two types of immunity our bodies have...innate and adaptive.  In essence, these cells are responsible for linking things that never change to those things which change often.  

It's amazing how bodily processes mimic our everyday lives.  We struggle to find that one thing that can help us travel between those moments in life that are both constant and ever-changing.  For some, I believe their dendritic cell is religion, god, or spirituality.  For others, that dendritic cell is a spouse or partner.  I also believe some use addictive behaviors as a type of dendritic cell.  We all seek a connection to or reliable path between those things in life which always change and those things which don't change.   It's that "dendritic cell" that makes bearable the transition from one place to another.  Simply put, it's that thing that helps us cope.

That's when the concept leaped right off the page I was reading...  The answer is within us.  While we spend all our time seeking outward ways to get back and forth from these two places in life, we completely overlook the path that is already within us.  Ralph Steinman didn't have to create anything or look outside the human body.  He simply had to better understand what was already present in all of us.  Once this happened, he literally figured out how to extend life and fight those things that make us sick.  It's truly amazing!

The Bottom Line:

Nine times out of ten, the best answers to life's unsolvable equations come from within.  The way forward is already there, just waiting to be discovered.  That ability to cope with the constant and with change is inside us all. When you make a commitment to understanding yourself, you will find your path...your way to and from...that calm within the storm.  

Nancy Grace's Boob Issues Official Statement:

Below, is the official statement from the law firm of Boulder & Tata, which represents Nancy Grace's right boob...

"Nancy Grace's boob would like to go on the record regarding Nancy Grace's recent denial of her boob.  The boob is very offended that Ms. Grace would deny it's presence on the hit TV show Dancing With the Stars.  Nancy Grace's boob has worked just as hard as anyone to prepare for it's moment on the show.  The boob is appalled by Nancy Grace's referring to this proud moment as a "malfunction".  Nancy Grace's boob is aware that society is shy when it comes to the serious issues related to nipple exposure.  We believe it's time that lawmakers take a long look at better protection for the rights of boobs everywhere.

Finally, Nancy Grace's boob is saddened by the public outrage over her career choices and wants all the fans to know that their support is very much appreciated!"

Read all about Nancy Grace's Boob Dis HERE!  

New Message

What do you do when you go looking for something...only to find it?  In the age of instant communication (e.g. text, phone, Internet, etc...), I find myself wishing that I only dated within the Amish community.  At least I'd have less technology to compete with.  Cheating, flirting, and pillow talk would all be done the old-fashioned, tedious, and ultimately sloppier way.  It is way too easy for people to "reach out and touch someone" these days.  I struggle with trust issues in my dating relationships.  I've been burned too many times to count by secret cell phone rendezvous and Internet hookups.  I find myself dating a guy only to realize there is someone on the side...or perhaps several "someones".  I'd really like to know why the Internet and/or the cell phone has turned the entire dating world into a giant pool of options rather than priorities.  How the hell did we get to this place?  

I wish I could trust that I'm enough for the person I'm with.  I long to believe that there isn't always going to be a long lost lover just waiting for the chance to rekindle old romance with my new prospect.  I'd love to believe that a cell phone call-log couldn't possibly hold the key to understanding the person I'm dating.  I fear that I may never be able to trust again.  It seems like something old...something new...something borrowed ...someone he blew...is just a text or a call away.  I've said for a long time that trust is a choice.  I'm beginning to wonder just how sound that whole idea is.  Can we really just choose to trust...even when the texts roll in at 4am?  Or, do we find ourselves tiptoeing around in the dark like some sort of suspicious wife in a Lifetime movie...waiting to snatch the phone and get the real story?  

I'm big enough to realize that I do not have all the answers.  That's why you may notice I spend a lot of time asking questions in the articles I write.  I truly believe that sharing my experiences can not only help me; but could very well help others who find themselves in the similar circumstances.

The Bottom Line:
Sometimes a text is just a text.  Trust, however, is much trickier.    

35

It’s Labor Day and I find myself speeding toward California on an American Airlines flight with age and personal relationships on my mind.  I turn 35 years old tomorrow. Five years ago, I didn't really have the normal “OMG I’m 30!” moment.  I guess I’m late with that.  I’m not really freaking out about getting old.  For one thing, I've been blessed with some of the best genes around so I don’t look 35.  I’m regularly guessed to be in my mid to late 20’s.  I’m hoping that remains the case...for a little while longer anyhow.  J     

I guess the thing that strikes me most about this age is all of the people that have come and gone from my life...friends…family…acquaintances…and the like.  I’m traveling to visit a friend that I haven’t seen in about 8 years.  There was a time I thought I may never see him again.  Thanks to Facebook, we reconnected and are now going to spend the next seven days acting like damn fools.  I can’t wait. 

I have mixed feelings about the relationships I’ve had over my lifetime.  I’ve lost people I loved to both death and ego.  Friends have abandoned me in the name of God.  Boyfriends and lovers have vanished into what seemed like thin air.  Even with all of the great loss I’ve suffered, it is those relationships which have stood the test of time that shine the brightest.  In spite of great distance, time, or tribulation, there are those few relationships which have held strong.

The other thing that occurs to me is how labor-intensive relationships are.   They are hard work.  They require vast amounts of effort and sacrifice.  The hard work is well worth the reward.  In fact, I think that relationships that come too easily are ones that could very well be taken for granted.  After all, anything worth having is also worth working for.  Looking ahead to the next 35 years, I plan on letting the people in my life know exactly how much they mean to me.  Life is far too short to spend it keeping such valuable information to myself. 

The Bottom Line:

Make the most of your relationships and your relationships will make the most of you. 

Rear-view Mirror

Does your future look somewhat like your past?

When it comes to recycling, I'm the worlds worst...except, however, when it comes to romantic relationships.  What is it about an old relationship that would make us want to go back to it?  Is it a comfort thing?  I'm afraid for me, the answers are a little hard to come by.  I obviously have something to work through in my own life.  Why else would I continuously find myself going in a backward relationship motion?

I'm a Virgo, so I have a tendency to make everything very black and white.  Well, I'll have no such luck with this topic.  If you are anything like me, and find yourself in a similar situation; start by asking yourself lots of questions.  It's good to start with "why", but get specific with yourself.  Try some of these questions on for size...


Am I a masochist?

Is it the sex?

Is it comfortable?

Do I feel like I made a mistake?

Has anything really changed between us?

Will things be better a second time around?

Why did I leave in the first place?

Do I need counseling?   :-)

These are all great questions and one's that I am currently asking myself.  I know there must be plenty of people out there who find themselves in a similar spot.  Please know...you are not alone!

The Bottom Line:
There are plenty of us hamsters out there just running in place on the big relationship wheel.  The key to evolving past that place in our lives is being willing to ask the tough questions of ourselves.  Once we begin to ask those questions, we will start to look around and realize...

I really AM just running in place!  What the hell?

A Tale of Two Men

Boy meets Congressman.  Boy has inappropriate relations with Congressman.  Congressman gets caught.  Congressman looses everything.  Boy fades into oblivion after fifteen minutes of fame.   It's the oldest story in the book.  Well, maybe not the oldest, but it's quickly becoming the most cliche story in the book.  As I was reading the story about Republican Representative Phillip Hinkle referring to the mess he's gotten himself into as a "shakedown", it occurred to me that this story was only being covered from one angle.  It was the typical angle.  Hinkle is a public figure...queue the public outrage.  

I try to approach my writing with fairness.  Of course I have my opinions.  I wouldn't be much of an aspiring opinion writer if I didn't.  I think everyone should be taking a good long look at BOTH of these men.  Since Rep. Hinkle will most certainly be publicly crucified, let's take a look at the person most people will not be talking about.

Kameryn Gibson - 

Here, we have an 18 year old young man who has posted an ad on Craigslist.  In the ad, he claimed he was 20(a lie) and looking for a "sugga daddy".  First of all, I'm no legal expert but this is at the very least borderline prostitution.  Let's get real for a moment.  It's one thing to go online looking for sex.  It's an entirely different thing to be looking for someone to pay you for sex.  Where is the outrage about this young man's behavior?

Adding insult to injury, Kameryn took items from the Congressman as "hush money"...an iPad, Blackberry, and $100.  He then decides to "do the right thing" and allow all this to go public.  I'm confused.  Wouldn't the right thing be to not post an ad that basically amounts to prostitution?  Maybe the right thing would have been to not accept cash and other items to stay quiet.  Perhaps the right thing would also be not allowing your sister to go to a newspaper with this story.  It seems to me that this young man is desperately trying to get attention in any way possible.  Maybe he has aspirations to be famous?  Maybe he has a complete lack of aspiration, hence the "sugga daddy" mentality.  Maybe he's just an attention addict and this whole situation is like crack to him.  I just question the point of all of this in light of his own terrible decision making.  At the end of the day, it doesn't make it more wrong that Congressman is involved in this.  It's all wrong.

Kameryn lied.  Kameryn wanted to trade sex for money. Kameryn took cash and gifts to keep quiet.

I have a hunch that we are hearing about all this because the Kameryn and his sister Megan started seeing dollar signs.  I also think they knew there would be a certain level of notoriety that comes along with this sort of situation...something they were both unable to resist.  

The Bottom Line:
In a world that values celebrity over all else, it's time we get real about things like character.  Sure, public servants should be held accountable for their actions.  After all, we are paying their salary.  That, however, does not exclude the everyday person from being accountable as well.  Our political figures are a real reflection of the people.  That fact alone should scare us all into making better decisions and being the best people we can be.  These two seemingly different people are really not all that different at all.  When the sensationalism settles and the story is long over, we still have to look at ourselves in the mirror.

Who do you see staring back at you?

Dear God

I can honestly say, that prayer is not a regular activity in my life.  I do believe in God.  I even believe in Jesus.  To what extent...that's another story.  I can tell you that I believe prayer is a conversation between you and God.  I believe it was never intended to be a political tool.  I believe prayer only helps you if you believe it.  I believe prayer can be instrumental in getting your heart and mind in sync.

If I had a prayer to offer, it would go something like this...

Dear God,

I want to say thank you for all the things I've been blessed with in my lifetime.  I know we've fought.  I've cursed you out.  I've screamed.  I've cried.  I burned books that people swear were divinely inspired by you.  I've lost faith in you.  I've gained it back.  I've been guilty of coming to you only when I need something.  I've struggled to understand you.  I've worried that you might not be real at all.  I still think you may have it out for me sometimes.  Other times, I feel you have my back.  Our relationship has been up and down...back and forth...and everywhere in between.  I can't say I've got you all figured out.  I can say that the more I learn about myself, the more I learn about you.

I pray that I never knowingly hurt someone, though I know I probably will.  I pray that I can always offer the forgiveness that I so desperately need from others.  I pray that I will always be man enough to be honest with my self and with others...no matter how unpleasant that honesty could be.

I pray that you help me not be so critical of myself and of others.  I pray you never take away my curiosity.  I pray for strength to fight, even when I don't want to fight.  I pray that I learn something...anything...from my tears.  I pray for courage.  I pray that I will always be better today than I was yesterday.  I pray that if you are listening...you never stop listening.   I pray for justice.

I pray for my children's peace of mind and soul.  I pray that no matter where they are in life, they always feel my great and never-ending love for them.  I pray they never forget me.  I pray that they seek the truth about who their dad really is.  I pray one day I can tell them face to face that their love forever transformed my soul.  I pray they will understand, before them...I was nothing.  I pray that everyone in this world gets to experience the unconditional love of a child at least one time.

Finally, I pray that I always feel that like I can say whatever I need to say to you, and that you will listen.  I pray that even in my worst moments, you see my heart.  I pray that you forgive my mouth, and my actions, and my thoughts.  I pray that by the end of my lifetime, I will get to meet the "person" that I've been through hell and back with.  Real or imagined...  Literal or figurative... Near or far... You've always been around.

Sincerely,
Me

The Bottom Line:
Maybe God is within.  Maybe God is somewhere out there.  Maybe God is everywhere.  Maybe it's OK that I don't know.  Life, if nothing else, is a journey.  Our conversations...our prayers with that something or someone that is bigger than ourselves can only lead to greater understanding and greater peace of mind.

Bee About It

Inspiration is a funny thing.  Sometimes it's like being sucker-punched.  Other times it's like finding a twenty dollar bill in a pair of jeans.  I've made it my unofficial goal in life to seek out inspiration in what most would consider off-the-wall places.  For an example of this, read my piece entitled Holy Underwear.  

I work from home daily.  I am a lucky man indeed.  More often than not, you can find me doing my best Flipper imitation at the pool on my lunch hour.  While swimming around yesterday, I noticed a bee stranded in the water.  It was floating on the surface but I could tell the jig was almost up!  He was trying desperately to get out of the water.  He was not having any luck.  Normally, I wouldn't hesitate to put this stinging creature out of it's misery.  On this day, however, my curiosity got the best of me.  I decided to save the bee and observe his behavior once I got him back to dry land.  I know...I'm strange.   

I watched him for what must have been a good fifteen minutes.  I even managed to get a picture(see above).  He worked furiously to wipe away all the water from his body.  He took his time.  He worked very hard.  He was thorough.  He was persistent.  Lastly, he shook off what was left of the water and hit the open skies.  

The Bottom Line:

Even when life seems to be drowning you, accept a helping hand.  Work hard.  Bee thorough.  Bee persistent.  Bee patient.  Shake off what's drowning you and realize that the sky really is the limit! 

You're So Gay!

In a world where it seems to be increasingly cool to call people "gay" as some sort of insult, I'd like to go on record by saying: The joke's on you!

Here are some things you should keep in mind...

Gay is NOT contagious.

We don't want to convert you.

While you think using "gay" as an insult makes you cool, it really just makes you a douche bag.

Most people would rather be gay than be a dumb-ass.

While you have the right to speak freely, you also have the right to be educated.

Calling people gay makes you look simple and ignorant.

When you constantly use the word gay as an insult...it only makes you seem like a closet case.

"Cool" comes in many different forms; one of them is GAY!

If it weren't for gay people metrosexuals wouldn't know how to dress.  ;-)


The Bottom Line:
It's time we realize that the world does not revolve around our differences but rather the things we have in common.  We are all people trying to receive as much love and acceptance as we can.  Live your life in a way that lets others know you respect yourself as well as your fellow human being.


"If we lose love and self respect for each other, this is how we finally die." ~ Maya Angelou  

Beat Up From The Heat Up

In the age of the "superstar", it sure is nice to see an actual TEAM win a championship! 

Congratulations to the Dallas Mavericks on what will always be remembered as a TEAM effort!

As for the Miami Heat, perhaps if their superstars had spent less time on Twitter (LeBron James) and mocking Dirk Nowitzki for being sick (James and Wade) they wouldn't find themselves on the wrong end of a Texas-sized ass-whooping.  I count myself fortunate to have been witness to Karma in action.

The Bottom Line:
Don't count your championships before they're won.
Tweet THAT LeBron James.

Ten Reasons Why Weiner is a Dick

1.    Showing his penis to 45,000 people on Twitter…

2.    Posing for provocative photos while having photos of family and friends on the table behind him...

3.    "E-cheating" on his relatively NEW wife...

4.    Lying to the world about being hacked, all while having a jackass attitude...

5.    Spending more time naked online than in his own bed…with his WIFE...

6.    Thinking people are all morons who will believe whatever he tells them…

7.    Being too stupid to know the difference between sending his crotch to 1 person or 45,000…

8.    Trying to pass off fake tears as a sign that he is sorry for what he did…

9.    Making penis jokes with reporters…

10.  Thinking it’s somehow “better” that most of his antics were before he was technically married…

The Bottom Line:

This is yet another example of why we need term limits for members of Congress.  It’s too easy to get comfortable in a position of such great power.  Congress members start to behave differently, vote differently, make poor decisions, and abuse their considerable influence for personal gain.  Perhaps if we enact a 4 year term limit, some of these people would reconsider running in the first place; because there would be no endless opportunity to retain power and privilege.  Our current system almost begs abusers and jackasses from all over the U.S. to run for office because of the potential benefits to them personally.  It’s time to pull up the pants on Congress term limits.   

Penicillin

One of my favorite things to say when someone is getting on my nerves is that he or she is "giving me Mono"...yes...as in Mononucleosis.  The saying generally gets a chuckle from even the most straight-laced people.  I said this to someone about the Dallas Mavericks last night as I watched them miss shot after shot before finally winning the game and sending the Oklahoma City Thunder to an early vacation.  The person watching with me jokingly said that I was going to need Penicillin!  I then recalled that Penicillin was found by accident.  Something so world-changing was a complete and total ACCIDENT!

That's when I started wondering...

Do we spend too much time and energy trying to plan out our lives?  Should we be doing more things by accident?  In an effort to make a ground-breaking discovery in our everyday lives, could we stand to allow a lack of planning?

I believe there is something to this.  I have said before that I am a firm believer in balance or "moderation" in life.  I think this should probably include a healthy balance between planning and chance.  If we plan every thing in life, we could very well miss out on something amazing.  I think over-planning can be linked to a general distrust in our own ability to handle the unexpected.  Perhaps we should trust ourselves, our knowledge, our strength, and our resilience to get us through the unexpected times in life.  Who knows what miracle could be discovered by accident?

Yes...I got ALL this from Penicillin.  For those of you who know me and have followed my blog over the years, you should not be surprised.  :-)

The Bottom Line:
Take chances.  Don't plan absolutely everything and remember... a little "moldy bread" can offer up a lot of healing.  So, the next time life gives you mold, make Penicillin and just roll with it.

Trumped

It occurs to me that Donald Trump represents the very best and the very worst of American culture.  On the one hand he is the picture of success and resilience.  On the other hand, he's a gas-bag headline whore who thrives on attention no matter the cost.  

I've been quite irritated with Donald Trump for the past several months because of all this running for President talk.  Let me be brutally clear...Donald Trump is Ross Perot reincarnated...PERIOD.  Donald Trump no more wants to run this country than Ross Perot did back in his day.  

The breakdown:  Every so often there is a man with enough personality and money to join a Presidential election in order to accomplish one goal.  The goal is to take away votes from a party in order to get a particular and desired candidate into office.  In other words, Donald Trump is trying to influence the outcome of the Presidential election in a way that will ultimately benefit him as a business man.  I can tell you right now, Donald Trump is not going to step away from his billion dollar empire to take the political job equivalent of working at Macy's as a cashier.  It's simply not going to happen.   

Then came the Obama birth certificate talk...  This is the point at which I moved from irritated to pissed off.  Trump used sensationalism and crack-pot conspiracy theories to get free advertising.  After all, the only thing Donal Trump has EVER tried to sell is "Trump".  It's a global brand with many different offerings.  He's not trying to sell anything in particular, just the overall brand.  He IS the brand.  So, any time he appears in a news conference or on a TV show it's a push for the Trump brand.  The sad part of this ordeal is that there are people out there that buy into this crap.  They believe that President Obama has not proven that he was born in the US.  Certain people continue to ignore that he's issued the legal document that is used by all Hawaiians now.  The long form is no longer even accepted for legal purposes in the state of Hawaii.  So what Trump and other nay-sayers have been asking to see is a document that is no longer legally relevant.

Trump has seen from the start that he could use this issue to get press time.  He laments the fact that news organizations only ask him about the birth certificate.  There are two reasons for that.  First, it's just about the only thing he has to talk about.  Second, he keeps making statements about the birth certificate that only generate more questions, which really means more press.  He may be fooling some people, but he's not fooling everyone.  He's most certainly not fooling me.  

The Bottom Line:  Business men in the vein of Ross Perot and Donald Trump will say and do ANYTHING to make a dollar.  Ross Perot ran as an Independent in 1992.  One of his campaign talking points was not outsourcing American jobs.  In 2009, Perot Systems was sold to Dell for 3.9 billion dollars.  Dell...one of the largest outsourcing companies around.  Don't get Trumped.  This is some knee-deep Voodoo. 

(click on the word Voodoo above for hilarious reminder of the type of person we are dealing with)

   

On The Verge

It's just before 5AM on what should be just another Tuesday.  It's painfully quiet here in my apartment, even with the white noise in the background.  All this silence has left me thinking about my life and where it's headed.  It's an odd experience to constantly feel on the verge of greatness or disaster.  It's how I've found myself feeling more often than not lately.   I have a career, bills are paid, a teeny tiny bit of money in the bank, a beautiful apartment, you know...all the basics.  Even still, I can't help but sense that the universe is still out to trial on whether my life will really be great or not.  It's strange how one can feel so out of place when everything is seemingly in order.

It's very much like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but not being not awake enough to determine if it's a train or the baby Jesus.  Maybe this is what purgatory feels like.  Am I being made ready for something?  I wish I could share with you that I've just been enlightened with the answer to my own question, but alas, not so much.  I suppose it's really more philosophical than literal, although the two seem to intertwine effortlessly.  

I have bad dreams to thank for this moment of mental Purgatory that I find myself in.  I should be asleep; not tapping away on my laptop listening to my ice maker work over-time.  I've decided that since I have to be up early, I will just make some coffee and push through this sleepless and thoughtful moment in time.

The Bottom Line: I will let you know as soon as I find it.

One Way Street

As a Dallas native, you'd think Downtown Dallas(pictured above) would be a breeze for me.  Not so much.  I end up driving the wrong way on a one way street every time.  It's as reliable as the rising of the moon.  It WILL happen.  It would seem that I can do nothing to prevent it.  I just pray I make it out in one piece.  One thing is certain though, I always find my way out.  As it turns out most times, my adventures in avoiding head-on collisions often place me in the perfect spot to get out of the area.  Go figure.

It occurs to me that life is really the same way.  Sometimes we avoid things that seem like a "wrong way".  We follow the signs that have been laid out for us...keeping our lives moving in the same directions as everyone else.  The issue with this is that sometimes we need to get lost or turned around.  We need to travel down that one way street because in the end, it will get us to where we need to go.  Yes, it may go against conventional wisdom; hell, it may even be dangerous.  Sometimes we have to take risks.  Sure, there are roads that are well traveled and signs that tell us which way we should go, but hey...new roads are always being built.

The Bottom Line:
Don't be afraid of traveling the wrong way on a one way street.  It may end up being the exact path you needed to take.  Just watch for oncoming cars and chances are, you will still end up right where you belong!

Fag

I recently discovered that I have an internal struggle.  No, I'm not coming out of the closet.  If you are reading this blog, you are about nine years too late for that story!  The struggle I'm speaking of is how offended I feel when straight people use the word "fag" as a way to insult other straight people.  It's taken me back to that mentality of... 'I can say it because I AM ONE'.  For example, African-Americans referring to themselves as 'Niggas'...  It's not really cool for white people to say it, unless of course you are a white rapper.  I also know Mexicans who refer to themselves as Wetbacks, but you wouldn't catch me saying it.  Even Jews have little reserve about self-depreciating humor.  It does seems like a double-standard to me.  At the same time, part of me feels like I've paid my 'gay dues'.  I feel I have the right to call someone a fag if I want, although I rarely call a straight person a fag; and I really only use the term with people that I know.  It occurs to me that if you are Black, or Jewish, or Mexican, or Gay, etc...you automatically get a pass to give derogatory terms your own meaning and power.  Maybe that way of thinking is wrong.  Maybe nobody should ever use derogatory terms, even among one's own "group".  

I'm not pretending to be on one side of this issue or the other.  I really am torn.  I absolutely believe in freedom of speech.  On the other hand, I am a firm believer in responsible speech.  Know your audience.  Show some respect.  I understand that some people discount the term "fag" because they've never had to experience the rejection, pain, hatred, or contempt that can go along with being openly gay.  Maybe it's just that it's too soon to be insensitive about it.  After all, while there is still racism in the world, the general struggle for basic rights is fading.  Gays in America are still in the middle of a fight to be treated as equals under the law.  Maybe 10...20...30 years from now the word fag won't carry the sting that it does right now.  Until then, I will always try to speak with my audience in mind. I will do my best to remember that I shouldn't discount any one group because of who they are or even what they believe.  It's not an easy task, as I do not agree with everyone about everything.  I do, however, always try to respect those I come into contact with...even if they are raging lunatics.  ;-)

Truth or Dare

I'm deep in thought on another inglorious Monday.  I'm thinking about the game...Truth or Dare.  If you've played this game a lot, you may have noticed a trend.  There are those who will almost always choose Truth and then there are those who will always choose Dare.  I've yet to meet a person who was equal parts dare and truth.  It just never seems to work out that way.

Many personal relationships are marred by a truth or dare mentality.  You have those people who will always tell you when you have a booger on your face or that you are way too fat to be wearing that.  Then there are those who call themselves friends but spend the entire relationship just daring you to discover that they have a hidden agenda.  Sometimes the agenda is romantic.  Sometimes it's convenience.  Every once in a while they turn out to be nothing less than your enemy.

Where does this fascination with playing games in relationships come from?  Why do we feel the need to play Truth or Dare with those we allegedly care about?  Shouldn't it always be truth?  Are relationships mostly based on lies and mutually accepted delusions?  (For you hard core Sex and the City fans, that last question will sound familiar.)  As a kid, I can remember being scolded by adults for being childish or immature or silly.  I'm beginning to think the children have it right.  Consider this, most little kids will simply look you in the face and tell you they don't like you...or to go away...or I don't want to play with you.  Adults on the other hand, will go to lunch with you, add you on their Facebook page, or even show up at your party.  When it comes to relationships, maybe we SHOULD be acting like children.  What would happen if we all were to partake in a brutal honesty week?  Oh...Em...Gee.  People's friends list would be slashed in half.  There could even be a fist fight!  All hell would break loose. The sad thing is, the only thing that seems to be "holding things together" is this sense of playing games.

What on earth could we accomplish with our newly found free time?  Cutting to the chase could add days or weeks of free time to your life.  With all the time not wasted on bullshitting with people in our lives we could learn a new language, go back to school, take up a hobby, or any number of productive and honest things.

The Bottom Line: There are worse things in life than being a mother-fucker.  Tell the truth.  Don't get caught up in the games that are all too easy to play.  If there is a giant booger on someone's face, for god's sake...TELL THEM!

My Life in Seven Boxes

Photo By - David Ross Jackson

It's a sunny and beautiful day here in Texas.  It's late January but you'd swear it was Spring outside.  Inside, things are a little more like Winter.  I will be starting a new chapter in life in the coming months.  While I look forward to what lies ahead, I can't help but think of the things I'm leaving behind.  Today, I prepared all the boxes filled with my kids toys, clothes, colorings, books, and other memories.  Soon, I will take them to my sister's home about four hours North of here.

For those of you who may not know, on the last day of June 2010, I relinquished the rights to my children.  I did this with the hope that they would be able to have a life free of the hatred and contempt their mother has for me. I wanted them to be have a childhood that does not make them feel as though they have to choose between Mom and Dad.  In the nearly nine years since their mother and I split, relations have become progressively worse.  This has made my children miserable and hurt them in ways that only two bitter parents could.  I won't pretend that everything was my ex-wife's fault.  It wasn't.  When it came time for us all to move forward, however, she was unwilling.  Working tirelessly to back me into a corner, she finally got her wish.  I couldn't, in good conscience, allow my kids to go through this torture any longer.

For seven months now, I could not bring myself to get rid of anything that belonged to my kids.  I still can't.  Even the smallest little stray Lego could not be thrown away.  My hope is that one day, I can open these seven boxes and show my children just how much they are loved.  I want them to know that no matter what has been said or done, they were always my life and my inspiration.  I felt it was necessary to put some distance between me and these boxes of memories.  I've been deeply hurt by all this.  I need time to heal...to grieve...to breathe.  I need a fresh start.  I need to see new dreams realized and leave behind all the sorrow that comes with the decision I felt I had to make.  Everything I've done since my children were born has been with them in mind.  That won't change.  I want to be ready to embrace them again one day.  I want to be strong and full of life for them.  These seven boxes, which represent my true love and my very soul, will be placed in a quiet and safe place somewhere in Oklahoma.  My love for my kids will remain with me at all times.  I will never forget the two loves of my life.  I will never forget my two blessings.  I will never forget their unconditional love for me.  I will never take for granted how I was forever changed from the inside out by the two most powerful forces I've ever encountered... my Solomon and Emiley.

When the heartache seems insurmountable and I feel as though I may die of a broken heart, I will remember that somewhere inside of me lives a love that will never die and never be changed...not by time nor circumstance.  It lives on forever and I will be forever grateful.  

Dear Sarah Palin

Since you first came onto the national scene as a Vice Presidential candidate, I have been very annoyed with you constantly insulting the intelligence of the American public.  You bemoan the mainstream media for having the nerve to report on you at all; yet you use that very same media to disseminate your own views to anyone who will listen or read.  I've watched your actions intently.  Somehow you have duped a great number of people into believing that you are an "average" American.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.  In fact, you are probably one of the most skilled politicians in the game today.  You learned a hard lesson about marketing during the Presidential campaign and I must admit, you are a fast learner.

You learned that writing a book in this country causes many to take a person seriously, even when it's not merited.

You've learned that winners never quit and quitters never win, unless they've held the office of Governor.

You've learned that Facebook is quickly becoming just as effective as "main-stream media" but without the actual label of a news organization.

You've learned how to turn an American tragedy into an opportunity to talk about politics and campaigns.

You've learned that one can fully prepare for a Presidential campaign without ever having to admit the fact.

You've learned how to never answer a question with a Yes or No.

You've learned that you can quote those who've come before you in an effort to avoid having to formulate your own responses.

Finally, you've learned, as countless politicians before you, misery loves company.  You rarely stand alone on a major topic and always make sure to bring others into the mix so they can shoulder the responsibility of your actions or words.

You may have fooled some people into believing that you have America's best interests at heart, but you have not fooled this American.  Anyone can get help writing a book.  Anyone can disguise finger-pointing with a knowing smile and soft voice.  It takes a real person of courage and originality to take responsibility for their own actions and words while not hiding behind the very things they rail against.

Sincerely,

David Ross Jackson

PS.
A portion of this letter was written while I was using the restroom.  It's bittersweetly ironic, don't ya think?

Please See Sarah Palin's latest media tirade/political ad here.

A Fine Line Between Dating and Desperation

"All things in moderation."

This is a phrase that's very popular for use when talking about dieting or consuming alcohol.  I actually like this philosophy for my entire life.  I believe in balance, which is why dating presents such a huge challenge for me at times.  I don't know about you, but I find myself doing a greater share of the chasing when it comes to dating.  Sure, plenty of people offer up "talk"...but it seems that once it's time to really put forth the effort, I'm the only one stepping up to the line.

I've found myself often being the only one who is willing to court or show effort.  This is continually frustrating to me.  Where is the balance?  Where is the other half of the effort?  I certainly don't expect anyone to chase me or do all the "work", but it sure would be nice to see things move beyond words and on to actual effort.  I don't want to be the only one on the line.  I don't want to be the one who travels back and forth between dating and desperation.

I recall early last year making a firm decision to not do all the chasing in a relationship.  If people aren't willing to meet you half way then what is the point?  So, the next time you are in a relationship or dating someone, ask yourself..."Is this mutual courtship or have I become Desperate Daphne?"  Expect more.

The Bottom Line: 
All things really should be in moderation, including desperation.  If you are the only one showing up to the line, then perhaps it's time to take yourself on a date.