As I entered the pristine court building, I found myself forced to partially undress for the second time in 20 minutes. I had gone to the wrong building at first. Gotta love those "airport screening" checkpoints that have now made their way to the court buildings of America.
These judges are tucked away in the deepest Harry Potter-esque corners of the building. So hidden are the judges, that most of the people who work there don't even have a grasp on where to find them.
I finally arrived at the appointed place. As I sat in the back of a large "holding area", much like a clinic or something...I couldn't help but notice all the different people. There were some very obvious single mothers (insert screaming children here). There were some less obvious delinquent dads (insert the “this is bullshit” facial expression). Then, there were those that were almost completely below the radar...the good dads. You could tell by their demeanor. They looked as if they worked long hours and slept even less all while managing to look nice for their hearing.
I sat for what seemed like years, afraid to even go pee, for fear that my name would be called and I'd miss the chance to enter the gates of Heaven or rather Hell in this story. Finally, "David Jackson", “Sandra Bullard", the harsh voice called out. I knew this was my time. For what, though, I had no idea.
"Cynthia", the case worker, took my ex-wife and me back to the tiny room to go over our case. Once we were seated I realized how dark this day was about to become. As a note, though I place Cynthia's name in quotations, it is indeed her real name. I will explain the deeper meaning of my using quotations later. “Cynthia's” demeanor immediately changed behind closed doors. While her mouth was saying one thing, her very being and belief system was saying something entirely different.
The unspoken communication was that she wanted nothing to do with me and that if I am here, sitting before her, then I must be something substandard. She no longer saw me. She saw every dead-beat dad that she has worked with, in what I am guessing has been her too many years on the job. She placed her scowling glance on me as though I had just insulted her dead grandmother or something.
After producing all of my documents, which “Cynthia” mostly dismissed as a snow-balls chance in hell, we were asked if we could all come to an agreement on child support. My ex-wife replied that she would be "fine" with the lesser amount per month (lesser by $50 mind you). This new amount, though, was nearly double what I currently pay for child support. Over three months ago, my hours were reduced at work due to the failing economy. Please know...if I were working more than 25hrs per week at the moment, I'd have been happy to entertain this lunacy. Since I am barely able to pay things like rent, electric, water, gas, and food these days, I had to protest. Again, I was treated by “Cynthia” as if I was bothering her in a way that she may never recover from. Since we could come to no agreement, much less any actual or even literal communication about a compromise, we had a hearing set for that same afternoon.
It is 1:30pm “Hearing Time” - I am sitting alone for just a moment, in the courtroom with my head bowed in what some might have mistaken for a prayer. It was more a moment of reflection. I felt like I was staring at an empty vase while convinced it was full of water. What followed would be nothing short of poorly scripted TV court room drama. "Cynthia" called me to the stand as the first witness. She proceeded to ask me very unclear questions...hard questions...difficult to quantify questions. Then, as if any of us has EVER discussed this, she asks, “What do you think you should pay?". "Cynthia" wins the Vile Question of the Year Award. She deliberately set me up to look like a fool on the witness stand. How was I to answer a question like that when we had never discussed any "numbers" but hers?
Later, there was the calling of Sandra Bullard by "Cynthia". Now my ex was on the stand taking “soft-ball” type questions like: What year were you divorced? Have your living expenses increased in the last 5 years? Do you think it's in the best interest of your children to have child support increased? Sandra didn't even need a bat in hand to knock those questions out of the park.
"Cynthia" decided to turn the last 5 minutes of the CHILD SUPPORT hearing into a visitation hearing, she asked... “Has Mr. Jackson exercised his right to visitation?” Sandra replied: "Yes", but then felt the need to add to that. She stated that there were several times this year that I had cancelled with little notice. I would like to point out that this part is true. I’ve been forced to cancel several times since my hours were reduced because I couldn’t afford the extra money for food or gas. I would wait until the last minute in a vain effort to find a way to come up with the means to have them over. Then there was the lie, a lie under oath mind you. Sandra said, "or sometimes he will just not show up". I will shout it from the highest mountain top that this was a bold-faced LIE! The ONLY time I would EVER simply not show up to see my kids and NOT let her know, is if I were dead or incapacitated. I am not sure that my ex knows the line between fact and fiction any longer. I believe those lines were blurred long ago and she effortlessly moves between the truth and fiction on a regular basis now.
In the end, the child support was increased dramatically even though all evidence suggests that it should not have been. What I took away from my very first experience of this kind is that “Cynthia” personifies everything that is wrong with the Child Support and Family Law system in Texas and many other states today, hence the quotations on her name. “Cynthia” is an “ideal”, a “break-down”, a “disconnect”. I was humiliated and patronized in private and on public record. The response to “dead-beat dads” has been to make all dads who are non-custodial parents suffer immensely. The law has been taken too far to the extreme and people like “Cynthia” have been damn near encouraged to approach their job with complete disregard for the father’s financial situation or the facts.
I am truly saddened by the events that took place and even more troubled by my new-found awareness of things. I am making it my personal mission in life to give yet another voice to this full-grown problem. Something has to be done to make this a truly fairer system for fathers everywhere who are keeping true to their responsibilities yet still being penalized for it. I will NOT go quietly.
Stay Free!
