In Jesus Name We Pray, Gaymen!

As the first truly Autumn-ish day sweeps over the Dallas area, I am unable to pull myself away from all the Bishop Eddie Long commentary.  Let me start by saying that I understand that the allegations have not been proven true.  Even still, the subject of Pastors, Deacons, and church members getting it on with the same sex is still one that should be discussed.

I read though a brief opinion article by Shayne Lee an African-American professor of sociology at Tulane University.  You can read the article for yourself here.  He seems to focus on race, which I'm sorry to say, is not only a bore, but a cop-out.  As a gay man and former minister of both music and youth, I can assure you I am well aware of the amount of energy that goes into bashing homosexuals from the pulpit to the pew in both "black" churches as well as "white" ones.  I can also tell you that there is more gay sex going on between church members than one might be led to believe and race really doesn't matter.  I've been to all manner of churches in my life.  The White folks are doing it; but as long as you show up for church on time with your wife and kids nobody really talks about it.  The Black folks are doing it on the DL(down-low) and then screaming at the top of their lungs about how gays have a first class non-refundable airline ticket to hell, followed by reservations at Chateau a la Sulfur.  Black...White... Martian...it makes no difference   The church is made up of people.  Some people are gay... therefore, gay people WILL be in your church.  A homo was probably sitting a few rows over checking you out this past Sunday.  LOL

I just wonder how many priests, pastors, deacons, bishops, mega-church maniacs, and closet-case music ministers it will take before people wake up and realize that the church is NOT above it all.  It's the words, thoughts, and actions of men like Ted Haggard and Eddie Long(guilty or not) that disillusion people of faith all over the world.  Alleged men and women of god are preaching hateful messages while secretly "gaying" it up in the sack.  It's really all about realizing that god, whoever that is to you, created us all.  God knows better than anyone what is going on.  You think it may be possible that god loves us all?  I mean really...thousands of years of oppression and hypocrites and scandals and wars...for all that, we are no closer to god than we ever were.   

 The Bottom Line:
Gay St. and Church St. are the same road known by two names.  Stop all the hate and hypocrisy.  It is time the church take a detour to Love Blvd. and for once, live up to god's message of unconditional love.  

The Big Kiss Off

I love how shocked everyone is over this ridiculous "in the moment"(in the moment my ass) American Music Award kiss.  Did anyone really expect Adam Lambert to act differently?  Be serious.  He's been a pair of boobs away from a drag queen for almost a year now!  Let's get something out of the way before we go any further.

I do not care for Adam Lambert as a person.  I don't think he's the best representative of the gay community.  He tries to dismiss the fact that he's a role model but he is...like it or not.  I guess that's what people want to see because that's the kind of person we keep putting out there.

That said, I do believe that he has a point about an entertainment double standard.  As a society we have far less of a problem watching Madonna, Britney, and Christina share a lesbian moment on an award show.  Oh, but let one pseudo famous gay guy decide to kiss his band member and people are crying into their AMA popcorn.  Give me a break.  In a country where sex between straight people is a multi-billion dollar industry and on-screen romps are commonplace (even in daytime), this should not surprise anyone.  Let's not get our underwear in a twist because of a gay kiss.  Gays are not going away and in fact are becoming more high profile every day.  It's a fact of life.  Get over it already.  To those who will belly-ache about their children seeing that...quit trying to pretend that your child will never or can never, know, go to school with, date, be friends with, or meet a gay person.  Instead, how about you teach your children that some boys and girls are different that way.  Then maybe you can skip the whole "shock and awe" routine when your child happens upon a gay moment somewhere.

The Bottom Line:
While I don't really care for Adam Lambert, I am glad he took his little political stand.   After a year of states bashing gay marriage, gay rights, and everything else that is "gay", it was nice to see someone just go out and be who they wanted to be...for all the world to see.  I believe it was equal parts gimmick and protest.  He gets an B for effort though.  He also gets an A for that kiss!  Wowza!

The Art of Rejection and Dentistry

What is rejection? At first glance this would appear to be an easily answered question. When one takes the time to really think about rejection though, one will find that the answer is not quite as simple as one might have thought.
I’ve found that rejection really has many facets. I should note that I choose the word “facets” for two reasons. First, there is the common definition… a facet being an angle or a side to something. Then I looked deeper and found that there is another meaning…one found in the world of Dentistry. I found this definition very intriguing. Facet: “Dentistry. A small, highly burnished (polished by friction) area, usually on the enamel surface of a tooth, produced by abrasion between opposing teeth in chewing.

Let’s start chewing…

What is rejection?

I feel rejection is the type of combo you wouldn’t find on a McDonald’s menu anywhere. There is the feeling or intention of the person rejecting, paired with the perception and understanding of the person being rejected. The act of being rejected is defined by the feeling of being rejected. In other words one doesn’t really exist without the other. If I don’t feel rejected then the simple fact is…I haven’t been.

What does Dentistry have to do with it?

Well if you look at it metaphorically, you can see that “opposing teeth” produce a highly polished side or “facet” to the tooth by way of friction! The two opposing people can in fact be “polished” or even perfected by rejection, which serves as “friction”.

I got all that from teeth?

Yes! I’ve recently been on both ends of what most would perceive as rejection. I was the person rejecting and then the person being rejected. I didn’t really enjoy being on either end of it to be quite honest. I don’t enjoy putting people through rejection and I don’t really care for being rejected either. If we start to look at rejection in a better light, we can see that it’s a very necessary part of developing character. It is painful but necessary. We can see that rejection really leads us to better and more appropriate opportunities. Rejection can teach us to look within for answers. Rejection polishes us and makes us brilliant and smooth around the edges. Whether it’s rejection from a job, person, family member, friend, or foe, see it as an opportunity to move in a better direction. See it as a way to find that perfect “place” in your life. There are of course those who will disagree with my way of thinking and maintain that rejection is useless and simply some people’s way of being hateful and hurtful. Really it’s all in how you look at it. You can choose to look at the glass as half full or half empty. The choice is always ours.

So, the next time you find yourself on the “wrong” end of rejection, take a moment to breathe and then remember that while the polishing process can be painful at times, it is needed to make us better.

Date Me?

I sit here stranded, albeit momentarily, on this American Airlines flight bound for Atlanta and I can’t help but let my mind wander into a philosophical place. I am wondering what dating these days has come to. It seems like the older I get the more I start to notice that some people have self-selected down to a smaller and smaller group…leaving nobody but themselves even worthy enough to date. I don’t know about you but I do not want to date myself. It is, however, more and more common for people to describe themselves in excruciating detail only to follow it up with “looking for the same”. Really?

Of course as a gay man, my dating experience is far different than that of a heterosexual man but I did used to be married and have dated a few women. I can say with certainty that the game is far different. Obviously what attracts a woman to a man is not how much alike they both are. Women have qualities that they want in a man and based purely on biology those things are usually somewhat opposite yet complimentary. In the gay culture it is a little trickier to say the least. A vast majority of men fall into one of two categories…they want someone just like themselves or they want someone who embodies everything they wish they were. This all makes for a great laugh but how does that make sense? So many gay men lament the fact that they are alone but using their “logic” all they’d really have to do is invite themselves out on a date to find the perfect man. While I think I am pretty darn great, save a few flaws, I do not want to date myself. I don’t want to date anyone that is exactly like me. Where is the challenge in that? Where is the fun in that?

All things said, I think it might be a good idea for some of us to trade in "date night" for, I don’t know, “counseling night”? The fact that so many want to date their physical and emotional twin is not only slightly hilarious but points to a real problem. Maybe it’s time we opened up our minds to other types of people. Maybe it’s time to work out those issues within us that dictate that we must have our own image constantly reflected back to us in order to be “happy”. Don’t get me wrong…I think having things in common is very necessary and very healthy for any relationship but where does it end?

So the next time you think about going on a date, take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself… Do I really want to date me?

Gay Texans Cry Foul Play in Police Raid

Ft. Worth Texas - June 28, 2009

On the anniversary of the Stonewall Rebellion in NYC, one of the most devastating gay civil rights violations in American history, Ft. Worth Police along with the TABC (Texas Alcoholic Beverages Commission) raided several Ft. Worth gay bars on Sunday night. Several people were zip-tied inside the clubs. Approximately 7 people were taken outside the clubs then arrested for public intoxication. One person has been hospitalized with a brain injury sustained in what amounts to a "statement" raid. There are several eye witness reports that excessive force was used in each location.




Let me get my first point out of the way now. I think this business of the police taking people out of a BAR only to charge them with public intoxication is asinine! If they are going to do that then they might as well arrest people on their way to a cab from the bar. A police officer goes into a bar...removes a person who has been drinking so that they can make an arrest. This is one of the most ridiculous practices I've ever heard of. Something has to be done about this. It's a technicality used by the police in very suspect situations and it has to stop.




I find it disturbing that the police department has issued no formal statement on why this raid occurred. Since the TABC was involved I would expect that maybe a liquor license was revoked, but that didn’t happen. I would also assume that maybe it was to remove minor individuals from the bar. Nope, not that either. Police Chief Jeffrey Halstead promised an investigation. My questions for him are...How could you NOT know this was happening? You are the Police Chief right? Who picked this foolish “anniversary” date for a raid on a gay bar? What was the point of this raid?




The police statements that a few patrons made "sexually explicit movements toward another officer" are hard to believe at best. What the hell does that statement even mean?




The eyes of the world will now be on the Ft. Worth Police Department as well as the City. They had better step up to the plate and do the right thing. It would be wise on their part to understand that they will not be able explain certain things away. A man now has a brain injury because of this clumsy and ill-advised moment. This entire venture was like a PowerPoint presentation... with no power and no point.





Stay Free!


For more about the Stonewall Rebellion visit:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stonewall_riots

Source: http://www.dallasvoice.com/artman