My Life in Seven Boxes

Photo By - David Ross Jackson

It's a sunny and beautiful day here in Texas.  It's late January but you'd swear it was Spring outside.  Inside, things are a little more like Winter.  I will be starting a new chapter in life in the coming months.  While I look forward to what lies ahead, I can't help but think of the things I'm leaving behind.  Today, I prepared all the boxes filled with my kids toys, clothes, colorings, books, and other memories.  Soon, I will take them to my sister's home about four hours North of here.

For those of you who may not know, on the last day of June 2010, I relinquished the rights to my children.  I did this with the hope that they would be able to have a life free of the hatred and contempt their mother has for me. I wanted them to be have a childhood that does not make them feel as though they have to choose between Mom and Dad.  In the nearly nine years since their mother and I split, relations have become progressively worse.  This has made my children miserable and hurt them in ways that only two bitter parents could.  I won't pretend that everything was my ex-wife's fault.  It wasn't.  When it came time for us all to move forward, however, she was unwilling.  Working tirelessly to back me into a corner, she finally got her wish.  I couldn't, in good conscience, allow my kids to go through this torture any longer.

For seven months now, I could not bring myself to get rid of anything that belonged to my kids.  I still can't.  Even the smallest little stray Lego could not be thrown away.  My hope is that one day, I can open these seven boxes and show my children just how much they are loved.  I want them to know that no matter what has been said or done, they were always my life and my inspiration.  I felt it was necessary to put some distance between me and these boxes of memories.  I've been deeply hurt by all this.  I need time to heal...to grieve...to breathe.  I need a fresh start.  I need to see new dreams realized and leave behind all the sorrow that comes with the decision I felt I had to make.  Everything I've done since my children were born has been with them in mind.  That won't change.  I want to be ready to embrace them again one day.  I want to be strong and full of life for them.  These seven boxes, which represent my true love and my very soul, will be placed in a quiet and safe place somewhere in Oklahoma.  My love for my kids will remain with me at all times.  I will never forget the two loves of my life.  I will never forget my two blessings.  I will never forget their unconditional love for me.  I will never take for granted how I was forever changed from the inside out by the two most powerful forces I've ever encountered... my Solomon and Emiley.

When the heartache seems insurmountable and I feel as though I may die of a broken heart, I will remember that somewhere inside of me lives a love that will never die and never be changed...not by time nor circumstance.  It lives on forever and I will be forever grateful.  

Dear Sarah Palin

Since you first came onto the national scene as a Vice Presidential candidate, I have been very annoyed with you constantly insulting the intelligence of the American public.  You bemoan the mainstream media for having the nerve to report on you at all; yet you use that very same media to disseminate your own views to anyone who will listen or read.  I've watched your actions intently.  Somehow you have duped a great number of people into believing that you are an "average" American.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.  In fact, you are probably one of the most skilled politicians in the game today.  You learned a hard lesson about marketing during the Presidential campaign and I must admit, you are a fast learner.

You learned that writing a book in this country causes many to take a person seriously, even when it's not merited.

You've learned that winners never quit and quitters never win, unless they've held the office of Governor.

You've learned that Facebook is quickly becoming just as effective as "main-stream media" but without the actual label of a news organization.

You've learned how to turn an American tragedy into an opportunity to talk about politics and campaigns.

You've learned that one can fully prepare for a Presidential campaign without ever having to admit the fact.

You've learned how to never answer a question with a Yes or No.

You've learned that you can quote those who've come before you in an effort to avoid having to formulate your own responses.

Finally, you've learned, as countless politicians before you, misery loves company.  You rarely stand alone on a major topic and always make sure to bring others into the mix so they can shoulder the responsibility of your actions or words.

You may have fooled some people into believing that you have America's best interests at heart, but you have not fooled this American.  Anyone can get help writing a book.  Anyone can disguise finger-pointing with a knowing smile and soft voice.  It takes a real person of courage and originality to take responsibility for their own actions and words while not hiding behind the very things they rail against.

Sincerely,

David Ross Jackson

PS.
A portion of this letter was written while I was using the restroom.  It's bittersweetly ironic, don't ya think?

Please See Sarah Palin's latest media tirade/political ad here.

A Fine Line Between Dating and Desperation

"All things in moderation."

This is a phrase that's very popular for use when talking about dieting or consuming alcohol.  I actually like this philosophy for my entire life.  I believe in balance, which is why dating presents such a huge challenge for me at times.  I don't know about you, but I find myself doing a greater share of the chasing when it comes to dating.  Sure, plenty of people offer up "talk"...but it seems that once it's time to really put forth the effort, I'm the only one stepping up to the line.

I've found myself often being the only one who is willing to court or show effort.  This is continually frustrating to me.  Where is the balance?  Where is the other half of the effort?  I certainly don't expect anyone to chase me or do all the "work", but it sure would be nice to see things move beyond words and on to actual effort.  I don't want to be the only one on the line.  I don't want to be the one who travels back and forth between dating and desperation.

I recall early last year making a firm decision to not do all the chasing in a relationship.  If people aren't willing to meet you half way then what is the point?  So, the next time you are in a relationship or dating someone, ask yourself..."Is this mutual courtship or have I become Desperate Daphne?"  Expect more.

The Bottom Line: 
All things really should be in moderation, including desperation.  If you are the only one showing up to the line, then perhaps it's time to take yourself on a date.