When Pigs Fly

I'm browsing through the various Facebook posts this morning and I start to notice a trend...people replacing actual expletives like "shit" or "damn" with "shyt" or "dayum".  That's when I started thinking...I know, me...thinking...who'd have thought?  I started to see parallels to real life in this behavior.  It's amazing to me how much time people spend trying to "clean up" their lives.  This "clean-up" is very much like the word "shyt".  Everyone knows that it's really "shit"...it means the same thing as "shit".  Why not just say shit?  Why is it acceptable for people to live their lives contrary to who they say they are...so long as they appear to be what they are supposed to be?

This was the question I asked myself back in my married days.  I kept asking myself why it was OK that all of my close god-fearing friends knew I was attracted to men but seemed to be fine with it as long as I played the part of a straight man.  As soon as I started keeping it real, they ran for the hills.  What is it about the truth that makes so many people squeamish?  Pretenses add no real value in life if nobody believes them.  Why be the idiot who is dressing up a pig in a bird costume and expecting it to fly South for the Winter?  Why not just be happy with what is clearly a pig?

Don't get me wrong.  I've been that person walking around with a "bird-pig" before.  I guess sometimes we feel like reality is just too harsh and so we feel the need to dress it down.  I'm just not sure what is to be gained by doing so.  I rarely do that anymore...oh, maybe on Facebook...sometimes.  Even then, I tend to keep it very real.  I'm sure some people on my friends list cringe at the things that I post at times!    The older I get, the less I feel like keeping up appearances with people.  I would sooner tell you it's none of your business than to make up some elaborate lie.  I'd rather just type the word "fuck" than waste an asterisk (i.e. f*ck).

The Bottom Line:

In this increasingly low-tolerance and politically correct world, sometimes shyt is just shit and a bird is really a pig.  Say what you mean, not what looks good on Facebook.

Boiling Frogs

Click on the image above to enlarge!

As far back as the 1800's, scientists conducted experiments on frogs.  They placed them in a pan of cool water.  When the water was heated too quickly the frogs attempted to escape.  When the water heating was reduced to around 0.2°C per minute, the frog was said to remain until dead.  While these finding are wildly contested by modern day scientists, the idea of something or someone becoming accustomed to gradual changes in their environment rings true.  It's how bad and good habits alike are formed.  It's how we become conditioned to the world around us.  If we see something shocking enough, it's no ceases to be shocking.  

In America, apathy and fear are the waters in which we currently boil.  I see it on Facebook.  I see it on the news.  I see it at my local grocery store.  People everywhere are willing to cash in their freedom just as long as they can plan their next meal or Disney vacation.  We are more concerned with a Facebook status than with voting.  We'd rather drink ourselves into a stupor on the weekends than read up about what laws are being passed that may adversely affect us.  Don't get me wrong, there is a time and place for having fun and just living life.  I love to have fun.  I just want to make sure that twenty years from now I can still have fun!  One day soon, however, we may all wake up to a world that has been hand-crafted by our apathy and fear.  We are such a distracted nation.  We tell ourselves that it's acceptable that a tiny percentage of people in this country make up the rules for the rest.  We are becoming convinced that terrorism is the perfect excuse to handcuff ourselves and throw away the keys.

I haven't decided whether apathy or fear is more dangerous to American society.  What I can say with certainty is that the combination of the two is perilous.  I could very well be preaching to an empty church.  It seems fewer and fewer people are willing to acknowledge that there is even an issue.  I wonder what it will take to get people to realize something has gone awry?  The possible answers to that question worry me.

The Bottom Line: 
It's been said... If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything.

A Cog in the Machine

My close personal friend Merriam Webster says that a cog is a tooth on the rim of a wheel or gear.  Metaphorically speaking, being a "cog in the machine" has not been considered a really great thing in the past.  Some have used the term to describe someone who is just an insignificant part of a larger entity...a nobody...a slave...a worker bee.  It was once said that a cog in the machine simply runs around in circles, gets worn out, and is then replaced.  

Aren't we all cogs? 

Kings...Queens...Executives...actors...bankers...Quakers...farmers...landscapers...burger-flippers...travel agents...poop scooper-uppers at the circus...we are ALL part of something larger.  We all perform our function to make something bigger happen.  Who is ever really at the top?  Sure, some of us are bigger cogs than others, but size isn't everything.  That's when it came to me...cogs are getting a bad wrap.   In fact, I think being a cog is the natural order of things.  We are all replaceable.  Every last one of us will "wear out" eventually.  We will all be replaced, displaced, or misplaced at some point in our existence. While we may feel like we are running around in circles and just getting worn out, think of it this way... You may be a cog in the machine but you can always chose the machine.  Our life is what we make it.  The cogs makes life happen all around us.  WE make life happen all around us.  We are all a part of something larger in life.  We all matter. 

The Bottom Line

It really does take all kinds of cogs to make the world turn.  We should all be proud cogs and realize that we can choose what kind of machine we want to be a part of.  That is liberation.  That is freedom. At the end of the day, we are all part of the biggest and most important machine ever made...Life.  Make your circles count.   

In Jesus Name We Pray, Gaymen!

As the first truly Autumn-ish day sweeps over the Dallas area, I am unable to pull myself away from all the Bishop Eddie Long commentary.  Let me start by saying that I understand that the allegations have not been proven true.  Even still, the subject of Pastors, Deacons, and church members getting it on with the same sex is still one that should be discussed.

I read though a brief opinion article by Shayne Lee an African-American professor of sociology at Tulane University.  You can read the article for yourself here.  He seems to focus on race, which I'm sorry to say, is not only a bore, but a cop-out.  As a gay man and former minister of both music and youth, I can assure you I am well aware of the amount of energy that goes into bashing homosexuals from the pulpit to the pew in both "black" churches as well as "white" ones.  I can also tell you that there is more gay sex going on between church members than one might be led to believe and race really doesn't matter.  I've been to all manner of churches in my life.  The White folks are doing it; but as long as you show up for church on time with your wife and kids nobody really talks about it.  The Black folks are doing it on the DL(down-low) and then screaming at the top of their lungs about how gays have a first class non-refundable airline ticket to hell, followed by reservations at Chateau a la Sulfur.  Black...White... Martian...it makes no difference   The church is made up of people.  Some people are gay... therefore, gay people WILL be in your church.  A homo was probably sitting a few rows over checking you out this past Sunday.  LOL

I just wonder how many priests, pastors, deacons, bishops, mega-church maniacs, and closet-case music ministers it will take before people wake up and realize that the church is NOT above it all.  It's the words, thoughts, and actions of men like Ted Haggard and Eddie Long(guilty or not) that disillusion people of faith all over the world.  Alleged men and women of god are preaching hateful messages while secretly "gaying" it up in the sack.  It's really all about realizing that god, whoever that is to you, created us all.  God knows better than anyone what is going on.  You think it may be possible that god loves us all?  I mean really...thousands of years of oppression and hypocrites and scandals and wars...for all that, we are no closer to god than we ever were.   

 The Bottom Line:
Gay St. and Church St. are the same road known by two names.  Stop all the hate and hypocrisy.  It is time the church take a detour to Love Blvd. and for once, live up to god's message of unconditional love.  

A Pledge to American't

I just finished reading the twenty-one page "A Pledge to America".  I have to say, the Republicans have out done themselves this time.  They've found a way to use 7,853 words, 215 paragraphs, and 21 pages to say nothing of substance.  It's a long-winded way to say absolutely nothing.  I will give credit where credit is due. They are masters at being obtuse and blending fear with patriotism.  It is NOT a different approach.  It's not a new way forward.  It's SSDD (same shit different day).  Yes, I said it!  This document, like all it's predecessors, is flagrant and irresponsible in it's claims and scope.

I will give you some quotes that seemed to stand out to me...

"The American people are speaking out, demanding that we realign our country’s compass with its founding principles and apply those principles to solve our common problems for the common good."

They speak of founding principles.  What they aren't admitting is that times change.  These Christian principles that Republicans are so fond of don't all make sense for the society we live in today.  As with the Bible, there are vast differences between Old and New Testaments and even Christians will tell you that we don't live by Old Testament law these days.  So, using "founding principles" would require us to restrict women from voting and enslave all minorities(including the President).  Republicans invoke this term as a way to inspire their base, but you can't pick and chose which "founding principles" you want to use.  Society changes.  Times change.  Understanding evolves.  We know things now that our forefathers did not.  We shouldn't do things a certain way just because it's the way it's always been done.  That's not progress.

"Our plan offers a clear and clearly different approach, one in which the people have the most say and the best ideas trump the most entrenched interests." (No, in fact, the majority of this "pledge" is to simply revert to how things were before Obama.)  (i.e.)...

"...we will roll back government spending to pre-stimulus, pre-bailout levels..."


"We offer a plan to repeal and replace the government takeover of health care..."


"Congress should move immediately to cancel unspent “stimulus” funds, and block any attempts to extend the timeline for spending “stimulus” funds." (which, by the way, will throw state and local budgets into instant havoc and chaos, resulting it program cut-backs, and lay-offs...which is the exact opposite of job creation)

The other thing I can't stand about this document is that once again, Republicans are trying to capitalize on fear and confusion to win elections.  Just take a look at this ridiculous and illegible chart.

Even blown up to 139%, I am unable to read or make any sense of this chart.  It has no value except providing the Republicans with a way to confuse the readers of this document and add to the fear of the unknown.

The document made statements about protecting our country and our troops, saying...

"When asked to provide our troops with the resources they need, we will do so without delay."


Would these "resources" also include the nearly 13,000 troops discharged under the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy?  Not according to most Republicans.  In 2000 and 2001, when our nation needed troops during and after September 11th, more than 2,500 gay and lesbian troops were discharged.  Fast forward to Republicans blocking key votes to repeal the policy.

Additionally, they drone on about reducing red tape while indicating that they want to add more voting processes to an already bloated system of voting on legislation.  (i.e.)...

"If a regulation is so “significant” and costly that it may harm job creation, Congress should vote on it first." - Red Tape


"Hold Weekly Votes on Spending Cuts" - More Red Tape




This "pledge" is PR BS.  There are no concrete solutions for anything and the vast majority of its text is telling us what's wrong with Democrats.  Please don't mistake this as a true way forward.  This is just a different way of saying the same thing the Republicans have said since losing the Presidency.  They continue to say... You should be afraid of change.  You should be afraid of terrorism.  You should be afraid of the economy.  You should be afraid to admit that any major advances in this country take time.  You should be afraid to understand that NOTHING happens over night.  Do you see any trends here?  Shame on the Republican Party for wasting the people's time with vague rhetoric that amounts to trickery, smoke, and mirrors.  There is nothing different here.  I can sum up this entire document it a few short words...

We are Republicans.  We want control back.  We are bitter about losing.  We want you to be afraid.  We don't like change.  We don't think the American people are smart enough to see through BS.  We want to create jobs for lawmakers.  We want you to vote against yourself...your families...your friends...and your interests.

The Bottom Line:  All the documents and press conferences and rallies and town hall meetings and Fox News appearances in the world will NEVER change the fact that it's time to put up or shut up!

Holy Enchiladas Batman!

On a sleepy Saturday night, I found myself in the mood for Mexican food.  My first thought was to visit the Ojeda's just down from my apartment.  The hip and trendy Greg, however, suggested that we go to Frankie's Mexican Cuisine(pictured above), a place frequented by University of Texas at Dallas staff during lunch hour.  Greg then traveled the back roads of Richardson which made me feel like an extra in one of the Batman movies speeding to the bat-cave.  Then, out of nowhere I find myself in the middle of something referred to as Twin Creeks.  I never actually saw a creek, but whatever.  That's typical of Texas...we give the illusion of natural beauty without ever delivering the goods.  I had never seen or heard of this little area of town before.  I suppose it's because my budget has been restricted to value menus for the past several years.  Frankie's has been open for about 5 months now and is by far the best kept secret in the area when it comes to fabulous food and excellent service!

There is a small patio outside and the outward appearance is very ordinary.  As we all know, however, appearances can be deceiving!  Once inside, I was a little shocked at how cozy yet chic everything was.  It's a small place with a big look!  The lighting was low and inviting.  The smell, well...amazing.  It was just a very comfortable place to be.  This comfort was further enhanced by the warm and attentive staff.  The waiters and waitresses were prompt, friendly, and made me feel like I was the only one being served for the day.

The Drinks...
I had a cape cod that could double as premium unleaded.  The amazing thing is, as strong as the drink was, it was still one of the best I've had.  They do offer happy hour but even their normal drink prices are not outrageous.

Then came the entrée...
O....M....G!!!  I ordered something that sounded odd to me at first until I spent more time pondering it.  Brisket Enchiladas but here is the thing...they were corn tortillas filled with mashed potatoes and toped with a brisket that would make you slap your mother square in the face!.   You haven't eaten until you've eaten this dish.  It's ALL I talked about for next several hours, much to Greg's dismay.  I literally didn't shut up about the food until I went to sleep!!!    

Then Dessert...
I had the Sopapilla Bites with vanilla ice cream.  I could have walked out to the parking lot and been robbed at gunpoint and not cared in the slightest after having eaten this dessert!  I've never really cared for Sopapillas.  These, however, were tiny bites of what is either all that is good and kind and heavenly in the universe or all that is evil and terrible and despicable in the universe!  I'm leaning toward the former!

The Bottom Line...
This meal was my Turkish Delight.  I could have stayed in Narnia forever eating this food!  I NEVER write about food.  I don't do food reviews.  This food was so good that I'm still thinking about it 4 days later and planning my next assault on the menu!  If you are in the DFW area, you owe it to yourself to stop by Frankie's.  You will love it!  It's worth every penny and then some!

Frankie's is located at 2701 Custer Pkwy. Suite 807, Richardson TX 75080
Telephone: 972-231-8667
For more information email frankiesmexicancuisine@att.net 

Um Sir, You Have Race All Over Your Face!

I have to say, over the past few weeks I have become exhausted with all the media reports about race or racism or racially charged situations.  I wonder how much emphasis would be on race if our President were White again.  Yes, I think the two are related.  Now, it seems like every time someone says the words "black" or "white" it makes national headlines.  I know race is an issue.  My next door neighbor's dog knows race is an issue.

Let's be honest, we all have some racism issues.  We all have pictures in our minds that we associate with a specific race.  When I think of trailer parks, I immediately imagine a White person.  When I think of the ghetto, I will most likely envision a black person. When I think of casinos or Oklahoma, I will probably think of a Native American.  I feel at liberty to say these things because I am Scottish, African-American, and Cherokee...in case you were about to be offended.  

Whether we say it at an NAACP meeting, on TMZ, or just think it, it's still there.  Honestly, I believe in some ways racism will literally have to die off.  Those who let their mental pictures or racist ideals dictate how they interact with people of other races will simply have to take a dirt nap.  Yeah, it sounds sensational, but really...some people will never change.  Actually, I think religion will be the new "race" in the next 100 years...but that's a whole different episode of Oprah.  For those who find it hard to let go of their racism, consider this...there are bad things about all races.  That's because it's not really a race thing...it's a people thing.  It takes all kinds of people...as they say.  We just need to learn to take a long look at ourselves instead of letting racism determine how we interact with our fellow man.

The Bottom Line: 
Let it go already!  We shouldn't need TMZ to catch Mel Gibson in a racial rant.  We shouldn't know who Shirley Sherrod is.  Life is about showing respect to all people regardless of what you are taught as a child or what stereotypes are out there.  We all have some hint of racism lingering just below the surface, no matter how small.  What matters is whether or not we allow that to control us.  Color is skin deep.  Peel away our skin and we're all hideously ugly.  Lighten up...no pun intended.  

The Life of a Fly

When I open my front door to let in the fresh air and sunshine, I can't help but be prepared for the attack of the flies.  They seem to be everywhere these days.  They are buzzing in my windows at home.  They are at the restaurant where I eat.  Every once in a while, they even take a car ride with me.  Then, as I walked along the sidewalk in a Dallas neighborhood this past Saturday, I saw a group of flies all nestled on what had to be the largest turd EVER.  I wanted to barf.

Once my disgust subsided, I began to ponder the life of a fly.  Yes, I'm strange like that.  I thought to myself that here is an insect, a being, if you will, that is constantly hunted and swatted at.  Some of them narrowly escape instant death while others are not so lucky.  They spend their lives feeding on things that would make even the most macho of men gag.  They are hated.  They are despised.  They have been labeled by society as one of the worst creations.  There are entire industries built upon the effort to wipe them out.  Even with all of world conspiring against them, they find a way to leave their mark.  They find a way to survive.  They literally make the best of a shitty situation.

That's when it occurred to me that we should all strive to be a little more like flies.  Obviously I'm not advocating a literal application here, but think about it...  Obstacles don't really matter to a fly.  Their persistence is unmatched.  They find ways to survive and prosper all while working with the worst resources in life.  There is something to be said for trying to find parallels in strange places.

The Bottom Line:
The next time life hands you a gigantic pile of shit, make a shit sandwich and keep on dodging the fly-swatter at all costs!  With a little fly-like determination, anything is possible!

One Year - One Billion Dollars

It's a curious thing to me that the measure of an artist tends to be how well they do once they are gone.  Think about it...whether and painter, dancer, writer, actor, or singer...if that person's art outlives them, they can truly be counted as one of the all-time greatest.  This fact was never truer than for Michael Jackson.  In the year that followed his death, the singer's estate generated nearly one billion dollars in sales world-wide.  That, my friends, is astonishing.  His music and life continue to speak to all generations.  As with any artist who's taken too soon, one can only imagine what he might have accomplished in the future.  I think about what new artists he might have discovered or worked with.  For all of Michael's tortured moments, he remains an unmatched musical savant.  On a day where only Michael's music will be playing in my home and in my car, I choose to be thankful for MJ's art and his giving spirit.  In a world of one-hit-wonders and tabloid celebrities, it's nice to know that every once in a while we are blessed with the presence of a true artist.

Here's to one year of rest for Michael Jackson.    

Tabula Rasa

When I started this piece, I had an angle all mapped out.  It's funny how life can sort of sit back and just laugh at your map.  First, for those who might not know what Tabula Rasa is (like me a few days ago...big thank you to my friend Mark Wagner), allow me to take a moment to explain it.

Tabula Rasa, like so many perfectly obvious yet mysterious things in life, is clearly defined in the dictionary, but it's also an idea...a lifestyle...a philosophy.

The literal definitions: 
1. a mind not yet affected by experiences, impressions, etc  
2. anything existing undisturbed in its original pure state


The concept or philosophy: 
It dates back as far as Aristotle, when he described the mind as being nothing until something is thought...a blank tablet.  Deep huh?

The most common understanding of the term is "clean slate".  We've probably all heard of that at some point.
When I fist heard this term Tabula Rasa, I had to figure out how the hell to even say it, but more importantly, I immediately applied the idea to other people.  It seemed like the natural thing to do.  I "slept" on the idea for about a week and began to realize an even better application...  apply it to myself!  Yes, the oft overlooked reflection of one's own image... that's where I needed to apply the principle first.  I can't speak for anyone else, but I know for a fact that I am harder on myself in life than anyone else.  I realized that Tabula Rasa needed to be put to immediate use in my own life.  I needed to give myself a clean slate.  I need to forgive myself for quite frankly, being an asshole...to me.  Look, I don't pretend to have all the answers in life; to do so would be foolish.   I can say though, that this moment of realization is one of the most important moments we can ever have.  We have to learn how to give ourselves that clean slate.  When we refuse to do so, our soul withers under the scorching heat of self-hate.  Our spirit cannot grow or flourish in light of the knowledge that no matter how many times we screw things up in life, things will get better as long as we do not give up on the most important person... you!

I'd like to take a moment to share a short letter I've written to myself.  My hope is that those who read this will be inspired to give themselves a clean slate in life...


Dear David, 


I know your life has been difficult and at times very painful.  I know you've blamed yourself for so many things that have happened...some out of your control yet so many that were within your control.  I'm sorry I never gave you the opportunity to breath and enjoy life like you really should.  I apologize for always being so negative and "realistic" with you.  I should have supported your dreams rather than always shooting them down.  I should have believed in you.  I should have loved you when you were weak as well as when you were strong.  I've been a real asshole to you and I ask you to please forgive me.   I want you to know that from now on, I will be here when you need me.  I will be here to remind you that life really can be wonderful.  I want you to know that I will be your best friend.  I will be your rock.  When life frustrates you, I will be there to tell you that everything will work out.  I know you and I don't really care for clichés but sometimes we need to be reminded that there is truth to be found in them.  I really do love and care for you.  I look forward to this clean slate...this blank canvas that we can paint on together.  We can make the picture anything we want it to be.  Together, we can achieve.  We can breathe.  We can laugh from our soul.  We can get that rest we both so desperately need.  Thank you for being the thoughtful person that you are.  Thank you for always being willing to take all the burden, but you need to know that you don't have to do that any more.  I'm here for you.  I support you.  I love you...flaws and all.  


Love, 
Me    

Part-time Patriots

As the sun sets on yet another Memorial Day, I find myself wondering just how patriotic we really are.  It strikes me as a little odd how uptight some people can get about this particular holiday.  Everyone wants to wave the flag.  Everyone wants to claim their military family heritage.  People make it a point to be proud, verging on obnoxious and boastful, when it comes to their military ties.  Then there the other 364 days of the year...

I was chastised by a "friend" this morning about referring to Memorial Day as perhaps, the unofficial "white-trash" holiday.  (I feel at liberty to use the term white-trash without hesitation, as I am part Scottish-American.  These are also the same type of people I spent a great deal of my life with.)  The statement was meant to be an observation and had nothing at all to do with the military.  It was very tongue-in-cheek, but apparently some of us lose all sense of humor once a year.  I don't know, maybe the comment struck a little too close to home.  This friend started going on about the fact that a family member was in the military and their father and their father's father...etc...  In the two years I've know this person, I've never once discussed or been made aware of any family service to our country.  This lead me to realize how part-time some people's patriotism is.  It's a strange concept to me that so many only get "fired up" about their country on holidays.  These are the same folks who sit by the rest of the year and have nothing of value to add to political evolution, learning, or debate.  They grab their Starbucks, head to work, and plan their next major beer bash or Super Bowl party; all the while never trying to affect change that would honor the men and women of the armed forces.

The Bottom Line:
It's convenient and perhaps even a bit stylish to wear the flag on your back for major patriotic holidays, but what's the point if you do nothing the rest of the year?  Though one person got all bent out of shape over my holiday observation, they failed to remember that the brave men and women fight not just for their freedom to be part-time patriots, but for my freedom to say what I wish.  That's something to be proud of.  Let's not forget that every day should be a Memorial Day.  We should live our lives in a way that honors our brave men and women all the time, not just on Memorial Day.

Family Fallout

What happens when you are born into a family that is destined to fail?  Where do you go to find that sense of tradition and heritage?  I think back to my own family history and the answers to those questions seem further away than ever.  I was born into family "fallout", somewhere between belonging and not.  I'm the bastard son of my mom and my dad who were dating at the time.  My dad, who is African-American, was secretly married to an African-American woman.  He had a family of his own and a penchant for affairs with white women.  He would never marry a white woman though, because he is too much of a coward.   As daring as his affairs were, he wasn't daring enough to keep honest relationships.  My mother, on the other hand, was a divorcée with three children from that marriage.  They were Anglo.  I mention race because it plays a huge role in my life, as it relates to family.

When I was born, my mother still used her married last name.  My father was listed as such on the birth certificate but I was given my mothers married last name.  At some point, my mother decided I should go by my father's last name and proceed to use it regularly.  It wasn't until I was a teenager that she requested that it be legally changed.  Though a judge signed a name change order as a part of child support hearings, she never had my birth certificate changed.  To this day I am legally somewhere in between Ross and Jackson.

To complicate matters, I am the only child from either side of my family that is of mixed race.  I'm not Black.  I'm definitely not White.  I'm just me.  It's a shame how we lose ambiguity as we become adults.  The fog lifts and suddenly we see the world for what it really is...Black or White.  I was raised around "white" people and until I started trying to date, I felt no different than those around me.

I don't communicate with my father or his side of the family anymore.  There was a time where I tried but for my "black siblings", I think I represented their father's unfaithfulness and the damage that was inflicted upon their family by all his whorish behavior.  They were very polite but never put much effort into getting to know me.  I can't say I blame them.  My mother's side of the family is another story.  I was very close to my two sisters growing up.  I couldn't have asked for better sisters.  My brother spent most of his time at his father's place so we really didn't get to know each other until recently.  My relationship with my sisters has changed dramatically over the past several years.  I'm not sure why or how this has happened.  There was no definitive event that took place.  There has been no feud.  I honestly believe it's just our family "nature" taking it's course.  It's sad to see how far we have all drifted apart.  We barely speak, although I have made the majority of the effort to keep in touch.  They live in Oklahoma and travel here often to see friends and family(I'm not in that equation apparently).  The state of the "union" is not great.

After reading on Facebook about yet another trip here to Texas , one that I had no clue was happening, I decided to delete my siblings from Facebook.  I don't need a daily reminder that I am being ignored by my so-called family.  I'd rather not know they were in town at all if they won't bother to pick up the phone and let me know.  I've been relegated to a common Facebook acquaintance and as stupid as it sounds, it hurts.

The Bottom Line:

There are about twenty definitions of the word family in the dictionary.  The one that I find most intriguing is the definition as related to math (shown below).

Mathematics:

a given class of solutions of the same basic equation, differing from one another only by the different values assigned to the constants in the equation.

I realize now that we are all just "solutions" of the same basic equation.  We all have different values.  I see that it's time for me to release my understanding of the word Family and move on.  While there will always be the pain of "what could could have been", there is no sense in ignoring definitions that make more sense than the ones I've been using for years.  It's time for me to seek out those people that have the same values and build lasting relationships.  I always love a good math problem for any relationship woe.  

Verbose or Wordful?

As I ponder my own place in the wonderful market-place of words, I can't help but wonder how many different ways there are to say the same thing.  Someone I know jokingly described himself as "wordful", which made me laugh out loud.  It's funny to me, that's funny weird...not funny ha-ha, how so many people use all kinds of words to say the very same thing.  We use words for more than just relaying information.  We use words to prove points, convey emotions, to uplift, to condemn, to play games, to defend, and to attack.


Word are given even greater power when paired with sound or tone of voice.  Words are curious things.  Words were "created" to help us understand and communicate, yet I find that sometimes words do just the opposite.  Words can be too vague or general for us to understand the true meaning behind them.  Sometimes words just get in the way all together.  I find in many cases, when it comes to words, less truly is more.  I think maybe that's why I like music so much.  It's short on words for the most part and long on composition and complex simplicity...if there is such a thing.  :-)

The Bottom Line
The next time you find yourself bogged down in a war of words, just shut up and turn on some music.  It will make everything right as rain.

United States of Terrorism: Why Immigration is Just a Symptom

"Immigration"  

This word really is a loaded gun, a gun certain political parties seem hell-bent on using against anyone that dare stand in their path.  Arizona has become a lightning rod of attention with the passing of the very obtuse immigration law recently.  I'd like to point out that this law is not only a band-aid for a very real problem; it's a dirty band-aid.  Politicians in Arizona are trying to make a statement.  They are trying to tell the White House that they can do as they wish when it comes to immigration.  The problem I see with this law and logic is that immigration is to the United States of America, not Arizona specifically.  With that in mind, I believe immigration laws should be written on a federal level...not state.  I also believe that measures to prevent illegal immigration should be funded and maintained by the federal government.  The Arizona bill flies in the face of federal judiciary and law.  This is why you will see challenges to it.  Local law enforcement should hold its traditional role...to protect the people.  It should NOT be used to act in a federal capacity by verifying U.S. citizenship.  The federal government should be securing our borders with agents, funding, fencing, and technologies.  Stopping every ethnic person one sees to make sure they belong here is not an answer.  Putting our police officers in a role of having to racially profile individuals is not wise and not clever.  Solve the problem at the source...the border.


Those who tell you that Arizona HAD to pass this law to protect the citizens are wrong, if not lying outright.  Some of the worst laws in history were passed out of fear...i.e. The Patriot Act.  Politicians will use the weapon of fear to keep their own positions of power and influence.  They are not concerned with making sure people are U.S. citizens.  At the end of the day, they would do most anything to keep a seat at the government's table.  Government, in general is a gigantic popularity contest.  If you can't appeal to people for votes you must scare them into voting for you.  September 11th didn't just kill thousands of people, it turned America into the VERY thing we claim to fight against... the largest, most well-funded terrorist group the world will ever see.  Think about it, we have waged wars using bad intelligence, killing thousands and contributing heavily to economic unrest.  We've imposed our way of life and values on sovereign countries.  We have terrorized our own citizens with laws that infringe upon basic civil rights.  We tell our citizens, by our actions, that we should live in fear of the unknown...fear of things that are different or contrary... fear of finding our own answers.  Oh, we go on and on about how this is all in the interest of national security...blah blah blah.  It's about power.  


While I realize that many will find my words subversive and unpatriotic, the simple truth is, I love this country and those who, under orders from our government, risk their lives for this country.  I have NO ill will toward and mean no disrespect to any member of the armed forces.  I also love the freedoms that this country was founded on that afford me the right to express my opinion.  I want those same freedoms to remain in tact for my children and their children.  I do not love what I have seen happening in America since 9/11.  It's year after year of bad judgment and leadership.  It's moment by moment scare tactics.  It's a dreadful mess.  


The Bottom Line:
Don't let the politics of immigration law distract you from the much larger issues going on in America.  There are very real powers at work to make sure we remain under foot and scared of the dark.  

Drinks, Doritos, and Disbelief

As I hailed my first taxi EVER, I knew this was the beginning of a great time.  I made my way out of the airport, past the momentarily sleepy ports, and all the way down to South Beach!  The things I would see over the next few days would not cease to amaze me any time soon.  


The People...

First of all, there are no shortage of models in this area of town, which, by the way, goes to bed somewhere around 5am from what I can tell.  I'm pretty sure I looked like I was missing a chromosome with my mouth constantly open in amazement at all the glamozons.  I have NEVER seen so many beautiful women in all my life on the planet Earth.  Having said that, it was really wasted on me.  Now the men... good lord in heaven on roller-skates...  I've seen fewer six-packs on the Ab-Roller infomercial!!!  I was painfully aware that I had left my abs back in 2nd grade somewhere.  I couldn't decide which was in greater supply, pretty people or amazing food.  I guess they will always run a tight race in Miami.  I quickly realized this is not a place for insecure people, so I had to get over myself quickly or I'd be relegated to my room the entire time...windows shut, curtains drawn, and lights OFF!  ☺


The Food...

(See I came out of my shell)  ☺


The food was OUT OF THIS WORLD.  Even at the most "low-budget" type of establishment, the food was just GREAT!  I think I had pizza in some form or fashion about 8 times while in Miami.  Now, on the other side of this "coin" is that all the restaurants have their dining situated on either side of the side walk.  This means you have to pass through every single restaurant to get to where you are going...that is unless you walk on the opposite side of the street altogether.   Let me tell you, whoever came up with this idea is no fool.  I was constantly accosted by primarily Russian hosts and waiters all but begging me to dine with them.  They all had the same specials...which were...not so special.  Depending on the day of the week it was "20% off"... "2 for 1"... or "our menu is half off".  If you plan on going to South Beach, just plan on paying $20-$40 per person unless you plan on doing Subway or McDonald's.  Overall, I can't complain about the pricing too much.  I enjoyed every bite of my frequently over-priced meals!


The Shopping...

Holy bankruptcy Batman!!!   I had to convince myself that eating was as important as shopping.  I really wanted to trade my meal power for purchasing power!  Every shop that you can think of and some you can't, is located in the South Beach area.  If it's not on Collins Avenue, it's on Lincoln road in what has to be the coolest outdoor shopping area EVER!  Lincoln road is pet-friendly, gay-friendly, and credit card-friendly!  If you feel like borrowing against your 401K or selling a kidney you can really go wild!  I loved that stores like The Gap, in Miami, had vastly different clothes than The Gap stores in my area.  "Hello.  My name is David and I have a problem shopping at the The Gap in Miami".  "Hello David"  

The Bottom Line...

The Golden Girls said it best with their Miami jingle...

I have to say what I feel... Miami has so much appeal.  A great place to get a seafood meal... Mi...am...i!   Miami... Miami... You've got style... blue sky... sunshine... white sand by the mile.  When you live in this town each day is sublime... the coldest of winters are warm and divine... Miami... Miami... You've got style... blue sky... sunshine...white sand by the mile.  There's golf clubs and night clubs all within reach...  Dance the Samba till morning... then lie on the beach... Each view is a postcard... Each day a great time...  The cream of the crop... Its the top of the line! Miami... Miami... You've got style... blue sky... sunshine... white sand by the mile.  

Miami... you've got style!  

Marketing 101 - GOP Style

The GOP's answer to providing an alternative to "Obamacare" as they so gleefully call it, is to "Fire Pelosi".  When you say it out loud it sort of just hangs there.  OK, fire Pelosi.  I don't care for her either.  She's spent more time getting Botox and appearing at press conferences than working to make things better.  Then what?  What on earth will the GOP do next?  The GOP claims they have alternative legislation which is "common sense".  I read through this "common sense" summary.  The only thing certain about this summary is that it's VERY common.  It's more common talking points from a party with few real alternatives.  A party whose entire offering is based upon pointing out deficiencies in the Democratic health care plan.  Let's look at just a few of the statements taken directly from the GOP website. See the GOP Summary here.

• Lowering health care premiums. The GOP plan will lower health care premiums for American families and small businesses, addressing Americans’ number-one priority for health care reform.

This is a great campaign point, but how exactly is this going to be carried out?  I wouldn't know.  There is no information to support this bullet point.

• Ending junk lawsuits. The GOP plan would help end costly junk lawsuits and curb defensive medicine by enacting medical liability reforms modeled after the successful state laws of California and Texas.

Sounds great...except California and Texas are number 5 and 9 respectively on the list of states which have the highest payments for medical malpractice claims. See the list here.  This means... "successful" is NOT a word any reasonable person would use to describe their reforms.  Then there is that whole California is bankrupt...thing.  Why on earth would their legislation be considered a good example of ways to cut costs?  

• Prevents insurers from unjustly cancelling a policy. The GOP plan prohibits an insurer from cancelling a policy unless a person commits fraud or conceals material facts about a health condition.

Hmmm... and who will decide what "material facts" will be defined as?  I am guessing the federal government.  Last time I checked that's still part of the makeup of social medicine.  

• Encouraging Small Business Health Plans. The GOP plan gives small businesses the power to pool together and offer health care at lower prices, just as corporations and labor unions do.

• Encouraging innovative state programs. The GOP plan rewards innovation by providing incentive payments to states that reduce premiums and the number of uninsured.

These two statements use the word "encouraging".  This isn't an after-school special people.  The word "encouraging" is just a marketing word that really means government regulation and legislation...still social medicine.  It's STILL the same thing the GOP says we should all be fighting against.  Additionally, just HOW is the GOP planning to fund these "incentive payments"?  Monopoly money?  Reducing lawmaker salaries?  I think not.  Try higher taxes...which the GOP historically places on the middle class.  The GOP wants us to apply labor union methods to healthcare.  Look how well labor unions worked for the auto industry.  Oh wait...they didn't!  

My personal favorite...

• Allowing dependents to remain on their parents’ policies. The GOP plan encourages coverage of young adults on their parents’ insurance through age 25.

There's that word "encourage" again.  Do you think for a minute that insurance companies won't slap us with more fees and higher premiums if the GOVERNMENT tells dependents they are now allowed, by law, to remain on their parents insurance until 25??  

Finally... The GOP "Scorecard"

Scorecard: Speaker Pelosi’s Government Takeover vs. GOP Common-Sense Solutions

                         Speaker Pelosi’s Bill      GOP Alternative

Job Losses          Up to 5.5 million              0 (Prove It)

Medicare Cuts     $500 billion                     0 (Prove It)

Tax Increases      $729.5 billion                  0 (Prove It)

The Bottom Line:

Just because something is stated over and over again doesn't magically make it true.  The GOP gets an F for effort and an A+ for marketing.  Too bad marketing isn't accepted as a valid form of payment at the doctor's office.

Slow Prescription Drug Abuse: Create a National Prescription Database

The problem with prescription drug abuse in this country is spiraling out of control.  Perhaps the one good thing that can come from the deaths of stars like Anna Nicole Smith, Michael Jackson, and Corey Haim is that this problem can get the attention it desperately needs.

I've witnessed the effects of prescription drug abuse first hand.  I can tell you there is NOTHING glamorous or acceptable about this issue.  Creating a national prescription narcotic database which every pharmacy is required by law to subscribe to and update in real-time would go very far in slowing this problem.  It would subsequently drive down health care costs by perhaps millions!


The Basic Concept:  When I fill a prescription for a controlled substance, it is automatically updated to a national registry which ALL pharmacies have access to via the web and are required to check for current or pending prescriptions in other pharmacies nationally.  Now, this will also require legislation to make it illegal for doctors to prescribe drugs using pseudonyms.  This is key especially in the case of celebrities.  To remedy privacy concerns, we should mandate privacy laws for pharmacies which not only carry stiffer penalties for breaches in security but also make the breach punishable by mandatory imprisonment for no less than 1 year.  Remember, this is a basic concept, but a very sound one.

The Bottom Line:  It's time to prescribe a real and tangible solution to prescription drug abuse in America.  The only ones profiting from this abuse are the drug companies.  We all know how that story ends.  

Show your support for sound ideas by logging on to http://www.healthreform.gov/

  

Fools "Rush" In

Gas-Bag, Racist, Hater, Asshole, Political Opportunist, Rebel Without any Real Cause...

These are just a few of the titles that accurately describe Rush Limbaugh.

After listening to today's quote about Governor Paterson being a "Massa", I was furious.  Click Here To Listen  This was a blatant reference to the Governor being a "Master"...as in one who owns slaves... as in "yes massa".

It's time we all wake up and realize that Rush Limbaugh does NOT care about America.  His only concern is perpetuating hateful rhetoric and ensuring that his own personal economy remains substantial.  Click Here To See His Forbes Ranking   In 2007, Don Imus made racist remarks on his show.  He was subsequently fired after sponsors, employees, colleagues, and listeners made it clear they would not tolerate this kind of on-air behavior.  One can scream about free speech but this speech is anything but free.  It's being paid for by OUR patronage on a daily basis.

The Bottom Line: While I firmly believe in freedom of speech, do it on your own dime!   It is reprehensible that sponsor companies continue to line Rush Limbaugh's pockets with cash.  Take a look at his sponsor list.  If you find Rush Limbaugh's methods and statements offensive... If you think he should bankroll his show using his own money... Make sure you boycott the following companies:

Parent Company: Expedia

Parent Company: General Motors

Parent Company: American Securities...which is also the Parent Company of: Potbelly Sandwich Works (Sorry Guys)


Sources:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/09/rush-limbaugh-hurls-racsi_n_492489.html

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http://www.examiner.com/x-448-SF-Radio-Examiner~y2010m1d13-Rush-Limbaughs-sponsors-Let-them-know-what-you-think-of-his-misusing-the-deaths-of-thousands

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http://www.hotwire.com/about-hotwire/our-company/companyOverview.jsp

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http://www.american-securities.com/Investments/Current

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http://www.onstar.com/us_english/jsp/corporate/index.jsp

Poignant Paint

They say Justice is blind.  I think she just operates in the dark, on her back, and for the right price.

As I awoke this past Monday morning, I was unusually calm.  I was up at 6:30am which, if you know me, you know that is no small feat.  Monday was my scheduled final child support hearing at the Tarrant County Courthouse.  I made my way through traffic with the greatest of ease.  I followed the speed limit.  I wasn't stressed.  It was actually a nice morning.  I arrived in downtown Ft. Worth and made my way to Houston St.  I came to a stop light on the corner of Weatherford St. and Houston St. and looked out my window.  What I saw next was a mixture of poignant and puzzling.  I was face to face with the Tarrant County Courthouse Annex.  I started to look at the walls of this building where justice is handed down daily. From a distance the building was not unlike many others you might see in Texas.  The brick was ornate.  It was built to look older and "justice chic".  Upon my stop light review, I realized that the entire building of law had only been painted to look like it was brick!  I was astonished.  I've seen better artwork in the projects.  You could see how one-dimensional the building really was.  It looked... well... terrible.  I actually laughed out loud.  I had never noticed this on my previous trip to this area of town.

That's when it hit me...

Justice isn't blind.  She just has shitty painters.  She cuts corners more than any airline.  She looks respectable from a distance.  Once you see her up close, you realize she is just cheap.  Justice is Julia Roberts before Richard Gere took her shopping.

In my experience with the courts, I've come to realize that Justice is not fair.  Our legal system is littered with loopholes and technicalities that make it impossible for anyone making less than six figures to get a fair shake.  I guess I shouldn't really be surprised.  This is a world governed, not by laws, but by money.  If you have enough of it, you might not even notice the courthouse walls.

The Bottom Line:

Don't be fooled by the paint job.  Justice has 20/20 vision and deep pockets sewn into her flowing yet easily removed gown.  Any woman who walks around with a damn sword can't be fully trusted.  ;-)

Home Sweet Home

http://www.udr.com/

Nearly two years ago, I moved to my current apartment community.  I had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting the only male in the office at the time.  He was snide.  He over compensated for being a straight man in an increasingly gay male profession by flirting with any woman who entered the room.  He was rude. He was juvenile.  He got my UDR relationship off on a sour note.  It was like one of those really bad American Idol audition clips that we have all grown to love.  My prayers were answered early on as this delight of a man moved away to Austin.  I don't recall his name because I had a medical procedure done to block it from my memory permanently.

Then there was James...

James didn't really get a fair shake from me because of that Neanderthal that ended up in Austin.  I figured James was Neanderthal Jr. and would typically steer clear of dealing with him. As fate would have it, there were several times I was forced to deal with James because there was simply nobody else to help me.  I started to realize that James might be OK.  He seemed interested in what I had to say for one thing.  That's always a GREAT way to start.  Then he did something else that took me by surprise.  He followed up.  While that may seem like a really lame thing to be surprised by, the apartment leasing world has changed for the worse over the years.  I've lived in apartments all my life.  I've seen just about every type of leasing "professional" you could imagine.  The chance that one of them would follow up with you on an issue or question is about as great as the chance that you would be hit by a truck-driving nun in a school-zone situated in an all Baptist community.  Let's just say that today's leasing professionals don't exactly measure up all the time.  James has always followed up with me.  If he doesn't have an answer...he gets one.

While all this is noteworthy, there is something that sets James apart from even the rest of the staff here in my community.  He has the uncanny ability of "knowing his audience".  He is able to assess WHO he is talking to and engage them in a manner that shows them that he's paying attention.  When he needs to speak slowly and with regard for his words...he does.  When he needs to "be real" and talk to you straight...he can.  When he knows you need a laugh...he makes you smile.  I've personally witnessed him in action.  He is keenly aware of who he is talking to and is able to present himself just as that person needs him to be presented.  This is a quality that is rare.  Most people are only satisfied with coming to terms with how they interact with others.  It's not often that you find those perceptive people who are willing to meet others half way in order to better communicate and build trust.

UDR should be taking notes.  James has a lot to offer any employer.  His abilities make him priceless.  In case you were wondering, I do not know James.  I don't even know his last name.  There is nothing in it for me except the pleasure of being able to brag on someone who is doing a stellar job at treating people like...well...people.  It's timeless.  It's classic.  It NEVER goes out of style.  James should be considered the "new black" in apartment leasing.  Every apartment community should have a James "hanging in the closet".  He goes with everything.

James:  I appreciate you for treating me like a person and not a lease.  I appreciate you caring enough to stay late on a Sunday to update me on an issue I was having with trespassers.  I appreciate you always taking the time to get back to me.  I appreciate you always going above and beyond for even the smallest things.  I wanted to take the time to say thank you and to make sure that everyone knows what a great person and great professional you really are.  It's because of your efforts that I continue to call my apartment...home.  UDR is lucky to have you.

Sincerely,

David by the pool.  :-)