The Bench

In the highly competitive world of dating and relationships, have you ever found yourself feeling like you are constantly coming off the bench?  Do you get the sneaky feeling that you are a back-up, a last resort, or a role player?  The "role" being that of a booty call or perhaps something that just feels comfortable...you know...like an extra large raggedy sweat shirt.  What happens when you look up one day and find yourself at what seems like the very end of the bench?  Don't worry yourself with how the hell you got there.  Just ask yourself... How the fuck do I get back in the game?


There are a few ways that I can see...

The Trade

Put the time into bettering yourself.  Work on your "shot".  Wait until you're ready for free-agency and then get the hell off the team!  You have something to offer.  You have skills that have yet to be discovered.  Take your talents to South Beach like LeBron James if necessary, but GET OUT!  Why be on the bench with one team when you can be the star on a team that appreciates all that you bring to the table?

Sign an Extension

Look, this all depends on where exactly you are in your "contract".  The beginning?  Perhaps this is the option for you.  Give it some time.  See if things settle down.  The middle?  It could really go either way.  Where do you see this "team" going?  Is there any real potential to win?  The end?  I've never been one for sticking around just because something is comfortable and familiar.  Who wants to waste their time on something that has never and probably will never work?   If you're at the ass end, it's probably time to venture into free agency.    

Retirement

While this seems like the best option when you're feeling down and out, you should probably save this option for last.  After all...40 is the new 20...60 the new 40...so on and so forth.  No need to step away from the game while you are still in your prime!


After years of being an option and a bench player (both in and out of a relationship), I've come to realize that I have way more to offer on the court than I do on the sidelines.  I've allowed others to place me on the bench as a "just in case".  Well, I'm putting the world on notice.  I won't be a second, third, or twelfth option!   I won't be the asshole who comes in only for a trick play or when all other options have dried up.  I will be THE option.  I don't need to lead the league in scoring.  I just need to be the number one option on my particular team.  Hopefully I didn't lose you with all my sports metaphors or bore you to death.  I just couldn't help but notice all the similarities between sports and relationships.

The Bottom Line: Too many options is a nightmare when you are a child.  Let a child have too many choices and they will either pick everything or nothing at all.  Sometimes it doesn't change when we grow up.  At times, we can be a bunch of semi-responsible extra large children.  It's unfortunate.  There are too many teams to play for in the world for you to just accept being the last of many options.

Shine like the star you are!  


   

Boiling Frogs

Click on the image above to enlarge!

As far back as the 1800's, scientists conducted experiments on frogs.  They placed them in a pan of cool water.  When the water was heated too quickly the frogs attempted to escape.  When the water heating was reduced to around 0.2°C per minute, the frog was said to remain until dead.  While these finding are wildly contested by modern day scientists, the idea of something or someone becoming accustomed to gradual changes in their environment rings true.  It's how bad and good habits alike are formed.  It's how we become conditioned to the world around us.  If we see something shocking enough, it's no ceases to be shocking.  

In America, apathy and fear are the waters in which we currently boil.  I see it on Facebook.  I see it on the news.  I see it at my local grocery store.  People everywhere are willing to cash in their freedom just as long as they can plan their next meal or Disney vacation.  We are more concerned with a Facebook status than with voting.  We'd rather drink ourselves into a stupor on the weekends than read up about what laws are being passed that may adversely affect us.  Don't get me wrong, there is a time and place for having fun and just living life.  I love to have fun.  I just want to make sure that twenty years from now I can still have fun!  One day soon, however, we may all wake up to a world that has been hand-crafted by our apathy and fear.  We are such a distracted nation.  We tell ourselves that it's acceptable that a tiny percentage of people in this country make up the rules for the rest.  We are becoming convinced that terrorism is the perfect excuse to handcuff ourselves and throw away the keys.

I haven't decided whether apathy or fear is more dangerous to American society.  What I can say with certainty is that the combination of the two is perilous.  I could very well be preaching to an empty church.  It seems fewer and fewer people are willing to acknowledge that there is even an issue.  I wonder what it will take to get people to realize something has gone awry?  The possible answers to that question worry me.

The Bottom Line: 
It's been said... If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything.

United States of Terrorism: Why Immigration is Just a Symptom

"Immigration"  

This word really is a loaded gun, a gun certain political parties seem hell-bent on using against anyone that dare stand in their path.  Arizona has become a lightning rod of attention with the passing of the very obtuse immigration law recently.  I'd like to point out that this law is not only a band-aid for a very real problem; it's a dirty band-aid.  Politicians in Arizona are trying to make a statement.  They are trying to tell the White House that they can do as they wish when it comes to immigration.  The problem I see with this law and logic is that immigration is to the United States of America, not Arizona specifically.  With that in mind, I believe immigration laws should be written on a federal level...not state.  I also believe that measures to prevent illegal immigration should be funded and maintained by the federal government.  The Arizona bill flies in the face of federal judiciary and law.  This is why you will see challenges to it.  Local law enforcement should hold its traditional role...to protect the people.  It should NOT be used to act in a federal capacity by verifying U.S. citizenship.  The federal government should be securing our borders with agents, funding, fencing, and technologies.  Stopping every ethnic person one sees to make sure they belong here is not an answer.  Putting our police officers in a role of having to racially profile individuals is not wise and not clever.  Solve the problem at the source...the border.


Those who tell you that Arizona HAD to pass this law to protect the citizens are wrong, if not lying outright.  Some of the worst laws in history were passed out of fear...i.e. The Patriot Act.  Politicians will use the weapon of fear to keep their own positions of power and influence.  They are not concerned with making sure people are U.S. citizens.  At the end of the day, they would do most anything to keep a seat at the government's table.  Government, in general is a gigantic popularity contest.  If you can't appeal to people for votes you must scare them into voting for you.  September 11th didn't just kill thousands of people, it turned America into the VERY thing we claim to fight against... the largest, most well-funded terrorist group the world will ever see.  Think about it, we have waged wars using bad intelligence, killing thousands and contributing heavily to economic unrest.  We've imposed our way of life and values on sovereign countries.  We have terrorized our own citizens with laws that infringe upon basic civil rights.  We tell our citizens, by our actions, that we should live in fear of the unknown...fear of things that are different or contrary... fear of finding our own answers.  Oh, we go on and on about how this is all in the interest of national security...blah blah blah.  It's about power.  


While I realize that many will find my words subversive and unpatriotic, the simple truth is, I love this country and those who, under orders from our government, risk their lives for this country.  I have NO ill will toward and mean no disrespect to any member of the armed forces.  I also love the freedoms that this country was founded on that afford me the right to express my opinion.  I want those same freedoms to remain in tact for my children and their children.  I do not love what I have seen happening in America since 9/11.  It's year after year of bad judgment and leadership.  It's moment by moment scare tactics.  It's a dreadful mess.  


The Bottom Line:
Don't let the politics of immigration law distract you from the much larger issues going on in America.  There are very real powers at work to make sure we remain under foot and scared of the dark.  

I'm Terrified That Terror Will Terrorize Me Until I'm Terrified Of Being Terrorless

My wish  for the new year is that the word "terror" be banned for ALL TIME.  I can't go anywhere without hearing or reading the word.  Everything is "terror".  Terror...terror...terror.  A child hits someone on the playground...terror.  Someone cuts in line at the grocery store...terror.  Late on your rent?  Terror.  Give me a BREAK.  Not every single thing that happens is terror.  Just like the fact that not everyone who attacks a pope is "mentally unstable", as the Vatican would have you believe.  Some people are just bad. Some are just plain old bastards.  I fear that soon everything will be labeled terror.  Once we start labeling any and every thing as terror then we can all be held without being charged as an "enemy combatant".  Is that what we really want?  It's sad to see the resurgence of this ridiculous blanket term in the media and beyond.  I'm sick and tired of "the world" trying to scare the shit out of me at every turn.  So the next time you see someone pull something out of his underwear on a flight, just beat his or her ASS, then sit back down and enjoy your peanuts.  There is NO need to be filled with terror all the time.

The bottom line:

There is nothing to fear but fear itself.