I sit here stranded, albeit momentarily, on this American Airlines flight bound for Atlanta and I can’t help but let my mind wander into a philosophical place. I am wondering what dating these days has come to. It seems like the older I get the more I start to notice that some people have self-selected down to a smaller and smaller group…leaving nobody but themselves even worthy enough to date. I don’t know about you but I do not want to date myself. It is, however, more and more common for people to describe themselves in excruciating detail only to follow it up with “looking for the same”. Really?
Of course as a gay man, my dating experience is far different than that of a heterosexual man but I did used to be married and have dated a few women. I can say with certainty that the game is far different. Obviously what attracts a woman to a man is not how much alike they both are. Women have qualities that they want in a man and based purely on biology those things are usually somewhat opposite yet complimentary. In the gay culture it is a little trickier to say the least. A vast majority of men fall into one of two categories…they want someone just like themselves or they want someone who embodies everything they wish they were. This all makes for a great laugh but how does that make sense? So many gay men lament the fact that they are alone but using their “logic” all they’d really have to do is invite themselves out on a date to find the perfect man. While I think I am pretty darn great, save a few flaws, I do not want to date myself. I don’t want to date anyone that is exactly like me. Where is the challenge in that? Where is the fun in that?
All things said, I think it might be a good idea for some of us to trade in "date night" for, I don’t know, “counseling night”? The fact that so many want to date their physical and emotional twin is not only slightly hilarious but points to a real problem. Maybe it’s time we opened up our minds to other types of people. Maybe it’s time to work out those issues within us that dictate that we must have our own image constantly reflected back to us in order to be “happy”. Don’t get me wrong…I think having things in common is very necessary and very healthy for any relationship but where does it end?
So the next time you think about going on a date, take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself… Do I really want to date me?
