I recently discovered that I have an internal struggle. No, I'm not coming out of the closet. If you are reading this blog, you are about nine years too late for that story! The struggle I'm speaking of is how offended I feel when straight people use the word "fag" as a way to insult other straight people. It's taken me back to that mentality of... 'I can say it because I AM ONE'. For example, African-Americans referring to themselves as 'Niggas'... It's not really cool for white people to say it, unless of course you are a white rapper. I also know Mexicans who refer to themselves as Wetbacks, but you wouldn't catch me saying it. Even Jews have little reserve about self-depreciating humor. It does seems like a double-standard to me. At the same time, part of me feels like I've paid my 'gay dues'. I feel I have the right to call someone a fag if I want, although I rarely call a straight person a fag; and I really only use the term with people that I know. It occurs to me that if you are Black, or Jewish, or Mexican, or Gay, etc...you automatically get a pass to give derogatory terms your own meaning and power. Maybe that way of thinking is wrong. Maybe nobody should ever use derogatory terms, even among one's own "group".
I'm not pretending to be on one side of this issue or the other. I really am torn. I absolutely believe in freedom of speech. On the other hand, I am a firm believer in responsible speech. Know your audience. Show some respect. I understand that some people discount the term "fag" because they've never had to experience the rejection, pain, hatred, or contempt that can go along with being openly gay. Maybe it's just that it's too soon to be insensitive about it. After all, while there is still racism in the world, the general struggle for basic rights is fading. Gays in America are still in the middle of a fight to be treated as equals under the law. Maybe 10...20...30 years from now the word fag won't carry the sting that it does right now. Until then, I will always try to speak with my audience in mind. I will do my best to remember that I shouldn't discount any one group because of who they are or even what they believe. It's not an easy task, as I do not agree with everyone about everything. I do, however, always try to respect those I come into contact with...even if they are raging lunatics. ;-)
