It's just shy of a new day here in my dark and quiet apartment. I've just finished providing advice to someone who means the world to me. He's 10 years my junior and starting to feel the effects of a jaded world and culture. His life shows so much promise and potential. He's educated, charming, strong, committed, and focused. He is starting to miss these things when he glances into the mirror. My prayer and hope for him is that very soon he will come to realize his own worth and reason for being alive.
I WAS this person at 19 years old. My world was telling me what I should believe, where I should learn, who I should love, and what my goals in life should be. In all honesty, I caved in to those demands. I assumed their beliefs, their schools, their goals, their love. Now, at 32, I find myself conspicuously void of all those same people in my life that were pressing my heart for every drop of blood. They have all vanished. As if my heart was a mighty ship taken out to sea and left with no crew or captain, to drift endlessly on the raging seas of life. Water water everywhere and not a soul to save the ship.
How often we forget about our own dreams. Others' dreams somehow become our own. In the process we are weighed down with what others think our lives should amount to.
Moments away from being set adrift in an Ambien manner, I struggle to stay upright long enough to see the discovery. I have almost seen it. It was like the reflection of the sun on a watch. Or maybe a bird soaring past at great speeds. It could even be just behind me...or dare I say it? Right in front of me? Or is it me? Damn, I almost had it. It was almost mine. I wake up from my dream now and I am still falling...falling. When will the falling stop? I want the falling to stop, so that I can rest. All I want is rest and yet not even the two Kings of Ambien will allow it. They allow me only to ask more questions for which there are no answers. A shame indeed that with rest comes no answers.
Endless Expectation, all around. Ah, but what do you want?
Stay Free!
I WAS this person at 19 years old. My world was telling me what I should believe, where I should learn, who I should love, and what my goals in life should be. In all honesty, I caved in to those demands. I assumed their beliefs, their schools, their goals, their love. Now, at 32, I find myself conspicuously void of all those same people in my life that were pressing my heart for every drop of blood. They have all vanished. As if my heart was a mighty ship taken out to sea and left with no crew or captain, to drift endlessly on the raging seas of life. Water water everywhere and not a soul to save the ship.
How often we forget about our own dreams. Others' dreams somehow become our own. In the process we are weighed down with what others think our lives should amount to.
Moments away from being set adrift in an Ambien manner, I struggle to stay upright long enough to see the discovery. I have almost seen it. It was like the reflection of the sun on a watch. Or maybe a bird soaring past at great speeds. It could even be just behind me...or dare I say it? Right in front of me? Or is it me? Damn, I almost had it. It was almost mine. I wake up from my dream now and I am still falling...falling. When will the falling stop? I want the falling to stop, so that I can rest. All I want is rest and yet not even the two Kings of Ambien will allow it. They allow me only to ask more questions for which there are no answers. A shame indeed that with rest comes no answers.
Endless Expectation, all around. Ah, but what do you want?
Stay Free!
