Dear Mrs. Pelosi,
After recently reviewing public information regarding your continued aggressive requests for use of military aircraft, I have determined that you must have yourself confused with Mariah Carey.
Since I take it you are now working on an album or a tour of some sort please let the taxpayers know if there are any additional funds that you will need from us to accommodate you.
While I'm not happy that you've turned into such a diva, I do understand that you have a certain image to maintain and therefore, flying you and your entourage and family around the country at our expense is just a necessary part life.
I know this letter may never reach you because you are constantly making media appearances and taking off early for vocal rest, all the while being exhausted from doing absolutely nothing, but I sure hope that this will find it's way to you.
If you do happen to get this letter would you please consider giving me and my family free tickets to your next show?
Love Never,
You Biggest Critic
